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Gil's Quotes

Viggorrah — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 15:37:17 CDT

Credited to: http://www.crimelab.nl

"No offense but I don't think I wanna eat anything that's been in this office. Is there a grasshopper in here?"
-- Holly Gribbs to Gil Grissom (Pilot)

"I need a pint of your blood. It's customary for all new-hires."
-- Gil Grissom to Holly Gribbs (Pilot)

"You gotta breathe through your ears, Gribbs."
-- Gil Grissom to Holly Gribbs (Pilot)

"Concentrate on what cannot lie. The evidence."
-- Gil Grissom to Warrick Brown (Pilot)

"The chemical found in cooking spray isn't it? If latex rubber and cooking spray went on a blind date, how would the night end?"
"Lot better than ours did."
"I know. Pink Floyd's not your thing."
"I have on cowboy boots. I work in a lab. What makes you think 'Dark Side of the Moon' synched to the 'Wizard of Oz' is gonna warm my damn barn?"
"I thought it'd be different."
"You wanna be different? Pin me against a wall. Lay one on me like you mean it. You're slackin', pal."
"Pin you against a wall?"
-- Gil Grissom and Charlotte (Pilot)

"Damnit Grissom! I had his ass, too."
"Yes, you had him and the minute you started thinking about yourself instead of the case, you lost him. There is no room in this department for subjectivity. You know that Warrick, we handle every case objectively and without presupposition regardless of race, color, creed or bubble-gum flavor. Okay?"
-- Warrick Brown and Gil Grissom (Pilot)

"How do you talk to a dead body?"
"I don't. I let him talk to me. In fact, he just spoke. Didn't you hear him? He just told me he didn't commit suicide."
-- Detective Banks and Gil Grissom (Cool Change)

"This guy fell to his death wearing prescription eyeglasses. Jumpers take their glasses off. Suicide is the ultimate form of selfishness. It's unlikely anyone cowardly enough to take his own life would be brave enough to watch his own death."
-- Gil Grissom (Cool Change)

"How do you know all this crap?"
"It's our job to know stuff."
-- Nick Stokes and Gil Grissom (Cool Change)

"I don't even have to turn around. Sara Sidle."
-- Gil Grissom to Sara Sidle (Cool Change)

"Still tossin' simulation dummies? There are other ways to tell, you know."
"No thanks. I'm a scientist. I like to see it. Newton dropped the apple. I drop dummies."
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Cool Change)

"God, Sara, I have so many unanswered whys."
-- Gil Grissom to Sara Sidle (Cool Change)

"Nice swatch, Nick. Pizza box sized."
-- Gil Grissom to Nick Stokes (Cool Change)

"So, can I ask you a question?"
"Maybe."
"All that stuff you rattled off? How did you know all that?"
"Your boyfriend told me."
-- Jamie and Gil Grissom (Cool Change)

"Yes, yes, Norman Pushed. Norman Jumped. Norman Fell."
"Wouldn't you, if you were married to Mrs. Roper?"
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (Cool Change)

"You didn't have to come."
"I know. I wanted to. In case you need me."
"I probably do. But this is something I'd rather do alone."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Cool Change)

"What kid doesn't want a party?"
"My kid."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (Crate 'n Burial)

"I work 24/7, I have no time for my friends. My daughter rarely sees me having any fun... And all of a sudden, she doesn't want a party."
"And that's because of you."
"Yes, I am her mother. She mimics me."
"Well, then she'll be fine. I mean, look at you."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Crate 'n Burial)

"How'd you hear all that?"
"I listen."
-- Jack and Gil Grissom (Crate 'n Burial)

"Mr. Garras, it's my experience in situations like this, if you want to fast, go slow."
-- Gil Grissom (Crate 'n Burial)

"You know it's funny but every case teaches me something about the next."
-- Gil Grissom (Crate 'n Burial)

"I got one of these Chem Labs when I turned six. Almost blew up the house."
-- Gil Grissom (Crate 'n Burial)

"We'll play with these later."
-- Gil Grissom to Nick Stokes, about the Chem Lab kits (Crate 'n Burial)

"People leave us clues, Nick. They speak to us in a thousands of different ways. It's our job to make sure we've tried to hear every single thing they've said."
-- Gil Grissom to Nick Stokes (Crate 'n Burial)

"Grateful Dead CD?"
"Who's dead?"
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Crate 'n Burial)

"I tend not to believe people. People lie. The evidence doesn't lie."
-- Gil Grissom (Crate 'n Burial)

"When Eddie was cheating on me, I wished someone would have said something."
"You mean me?"
"Who else?"
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Pledging Mr. Johnson)

"I should be just like you, alone in my hermetically-sealed condo, watching Discovery on the big screen. Working genius-level crossword puzzles. No relationships. But no chance one'll slop over into a case. Right, I want to be just like you."
"Technically, it's a townhouse. And the crosswords are advanced, not genius. But you're right, I'm deficient in a lot of ways, but I never screw up one of my cases with personal stuff."
"Grissom, what personal stuff?"
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Pledging Mr. Johnson)

"And this theory is based on...?"
"Nothing. I'm just trying to help."
-- Gil Grissom and Greg Sanders (Pledging Mr. Johnson)

"Dr. Watson, the game is afoot."
-- Gil Grissom to Catherine Willows (Pledging Mr. Johnson)

"I think you scared him, all his hairs are standing up."
-- Gil Grissom to Catherine Willows, about his tarantula (Pledging Mr. Johnson)

"May I take your hand?"
-- Gil Grissom to Catherine Willows (Pledging Mr. Johnson)

"I come here for calamari."
"Oh, alone?"
"No, I sometimes have a beer with it."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (Pledging Mr. Johnson)

"Would you want to know everything?"
"You're asking the wrong guy."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Pledging Mr. Johnson)

"Sara, body of your own. Dumpster out near Henderson."
"Oh, I'll dress down."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (Friends & Lovers)

"Gruesome Grissom. Tin man with a heart. Who knew."
-- Jenna Williams about Gil Grissom (Friends & Lovers)

"Paperwork, paperclips, paperpunchers. All these people want me to do is push paper. Nobody wants me to solve crimes."
-- Gil Grissom (Friends & Lovers)

"Try the Forensic Medical Journal. Read the four canons on cause of death... Homicide, Suicide, Natural and 'Unexplained.' Talks about fear in the last part of 'Unexplained'."
-- Gil Grissom (Friends & Lovers)

"You want to know what killed this kid? Benihana the maggots."
"What the maggots?"
-- Gil Grissom and Warrick Brown (Friends & Lovers)

"Jimson Weed. Dry as a bone, red as a beet, blind as a bat, mad as a hatter."
"Really, cite your sources."
"Internet insomnia."
-- Gil Grissom and Warrick Brown (Friends & Lovers)

"I love you."
"Thank you... you are a total stranger to me."
-- Girl at rave and Gil Grissom (Friends & Lovers)

"Let me tell you something, numbert. You're twice the age of these kids, and half of them couldn't find their own ass with a map. You prey on innocent children, concocting God-knows-what from God-knows-where, selling Russian Roulette in a bottle and you think we came all the way out here to bust you for possession, you dumb punk? I'm gonna get you for murder. Cool?"
-- Gil Grissom to Ethan (Friends & Lovers)

"There are three things I have a real problem with. Guys that hit their wives, sexual assault on children, and the scum that deal death to kids."
-- Gil Grissom (Friends & Lovers)

"I was flying to a seminar in New Hampshire a couple of summers ago. I was sitting in the plane next to a Philosophy Professor from Harvard. He told me this story about how every morning he takes a leak right after his three-hour philosophy class. He flushed the toilet there'd be this tiny brown spider fighting for its life against the swirling water. He came back the next day, flush. Same spider, clawing its way back from oblivion. A week goes by, he decides to liberate the spider. Grabs a paper towel, scoops him up and sets him on the floor in the corner of the stall. Comes back the next day and what do you think happened to the spider?"
"Dead."
"On his back, eight legs up. Why? Because one life imposed itself on another. Right then I realized, where we stand. For the first time I understood our role. We don't impose our will. We don't impose our hopes on the evidence."
-- Gil Grissom and Warrick Brown (Friends & Lovers)

"I don't know, Jenna. This whole case is going from bad to worse. I mean, usually it's a body, it's a specimen. But whenever it involves kids, I just can't..."
-- Gil Grissom to Jenna Williams (Friends & Lovers)

"Well, if you're going to break the law, you should know the law."
-- Gil Grissom to Jim Brass (Friends & Lovers)

"Evidence only knows one thing: the truth. It is what it is."
-- Gil Grissom to Warrick Brown (Friends & Lovers)

"It's not about memory now, Bobby. It's about the evidence... And the evidence sucks."
-- Gil Grissom (Friends & Lovers)

"Where are you going?"
"Away."
-- Warrick Brown and Gil Grissom (Friends & Lovers)

"Don't take it personally, Miss. He's kinda married to his job."
-- Warrick Brown to girl at rave, about Gil Grissom (Friends & Lovers)

"I saw some bruises. But Eddie's style has always been very... involved. Vigorous."
"Vigorous."
"She's trying to tell you Eddie likes it rough."
-- Catherine Willows, Gil Grissom and Warrick Brown (Who Are You?)

"I hear it's just bones. What a rush."
-- Sara Sidle to Gil Grissom (Who Are You?)

"Gil Grissom? Or should I call you 'Spider Man'?"
-- Teri Miller to Gil Grissom (Who Are You?)

"Give me your hand. You'll enjoy this."
-- Teri Miller to Gil Grissom (Who Are You?)

"Thought I'd let you off easy. But I did tack up my number on your big fish corkboard. Under cold cases."
"The ones that got away?"
"Let's hope not."
-- Teri Miller and Gil Grissom (Who Are You?)

"By law, you gotta disclose everything. Three bedrooms. Two baths. And a skeleton."
-- Gil Grissom (Who Are You?)

"Who are you?"
-- Gil Grissom to skull (Who Are You?)

"You know for a ladies' man, you don't know much about bone structure."
-- Gil Grissom to Nick Stokes (Who Are You?)

"An Orange-Kneed tarantula. Nice specimen."
"The tarantula's touch is so very gentle..."
"Leaves no prints. They move without a trace..."
-- Teri Miller and Gil Grissom (Who Are You?)

"I need you to make me a face."
-- Gil Grissom to Teri Miller (Who Are You?)

"It's about the evidence, Catherine. You may not like where it takes you."
-- Gil Grissom to Catherine Willows (Who Are You?)

"You so much as breathe on the evidence, it's contaminated. And I end up the bad guy."
-- Gil Grissom to Catherine Willows (Who Are You?)

"I know one thing, my guys will not bend, and they will not be intimidated!"
-- Gil Grissom (Who Are You?)

"Scientist. I bet you've never even drawn your weapon."
"Yeah. I hope I never do."
-- Officer Tyner and Gil Grissom (Who Are You?)

"This is your fault. Your nose is so far down a microscope, you got no idea what your people are doing."
-- Jim Brass to Gil Grissom (Who Are You?)

"Okay. You buy this cult thing?"
"You mean the blood swirls next to the father's body in the boys' room? I studied pictures of the Manson murders. This isn't butter, it's imitation."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (Blood Drops)

"Good work. It'll be back to normal in 24 hours."
"Normal'd be nice."
-- Gil Grissom and Nick Stokes (Blood Drops)

"And what are you doing about it now?"
"Going back to the girl. I left her in the car. But the windows are cracked... Give me a little credit. She's at the hospital."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (Blood Drops)

"What's the matter with your guys?"
"They've been inside."
-- Gil Grissom and Ray O'Riley (Blood Drops)

"What he should do is go to his first team. My team."
"Teams, Conrad, I didn't know this was a competition, Ecklie."
"Well it is. And my team usually wins."
-- Conrad Ecklie and Gil Grissom (Blood Drops)

"This is the only crime scene in Vegas tonight."
-- Gil Grissom (Blood Drops)

"This is the only room with no blood in it. Nothing to disturb."
"You guys'll never get it will you."
-- Ray O'Riley and Gil Grissom (Blood Drops)

"You don't you sleep do you?"
-- Gil Grissom to Sara Sidle (Blood Drops)

"Here's a thought, why don't you be more like Ecklie?"
"I could speak volumes about Conrad Ecklie. But right now, I have a crime scene to process. If you'll excuse me."
-- Brian Mobley and Gil Grissom (Blood Drops)

"You need to tell somebody when you're cutting the lights."
"What are you working for OSHA [Occupational Safety & Health Administration] now?"
-- Warrick Brown and Gil Grissom (Blood Drops)

"'Yet who would have thought the old man to have so much blood in him...?'"
"What was that?"
"It's Shakespeare."
-- Gil Grissom and Jim Brass (Blood Drops)

"You kept the Sheriff out of the loop. That's a career killer, Gil."
"That's what so sad Conrad. You think of this as a career."
-- Conrad Ecklie and Gil Grissom (Blood Drops)

"We got them both. I don't much care why they did it."
"I care. I don't like holes. What are they hiding?"
-- Nick Stokes and Gil Grissom (Blood Drops)

"Okay, we're going off the board, tonight."
"Off the board?"
"The ones that got away."
"Ah. I missed that one."
-- Gil Grissom, Sara Sidle and Catherine Willows (Anonymous)

"Well, the top print came back 'Paul Millander'."
"I expected that. He's the guy who makes the rubber hands. I've already cleared him. What about the compliance bottom print?"
"It came back you..."
-- Mandy and Gil Grissom (Anonymous)

"I don't crunch numbers. I just spook children."
-- Paul Millander to Gil Grissom (Anonymous)

"Now that's weird."
"Not weird. Intentional."
-- Jim Brass and Gil Grissom (Anonymous)

"What kind of language is that? Swedish?"
"It's backward."
-- Jim Brass and Gil Grissom (Anonymous)

"You're back."
-- Gil Grissom, after listening to the 'suicide note' (Anonymous)

"Hey you guys... you want an assignment slip or a pink slip?"
-- Gil Grissom to Nick Stokes and Warrick Brown (Anonymous)

"'Red Creeper.' My own concoction."
"Wow."
"Yeah well, serious case. Serious print powder."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (Anonymous)

"What else Doc. My mind is painting."
-- Gil Grissom to Albert Robbins (Anonymous)

"Catherine, would you excuse us for a second? I need to speak with Mr. Grissom in private."
"Anything you say to me, you can say to her."
-- Mandy and Gil Grissom (Anonymous)

"God, I got it. Whoever he is... He's letting me know, he's got me under this thumb..."
-- Gil Grissom (Anonymous)

"I call it 'Good vs. Evil.' You like it?"
"Yeah reminds me of my supervisor on days."
-- Paul Millander and Gil Grissom (Anonymous)

"Maybe we could get a 'Kodak moment' of this guy."
-- Gil Grissom (Anonymous)

"Life's like holding a dove. You hold it too hard..."
"... you kill it."
"Hold it too soft..."
"... and it'll fly away."
-- Gil Grissom, Catherine Willows and Sara Sidle (Anonymous)

"How tall was this man? Was he shorter or taller than Mr. Brass, here?"
"A hair taller."
"By a hair, do you mean the hair of a rabbit... or the hair of a grizzly bear?"
-- Bum and Gil Grissom (Anonymous)

"Paul Millander... He set me up. SON OF A BITCH! I had him and I let him go."
-- Gil Grissom (Anonymous)

"Blank. What's that mean?"
"We have nothing."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Anonymous)

"Oh, me and him working together. Oh, it's on."
"You're goin' down, bro."
"Hey, work together tonight, alright."
-- Warrick Brown, Nick Stokes and Gil Grissom (Anonymous)

"Ring any bells? Rub-a-dub-dub. Dead man in a tub."
-- Jim Brass to Gil Grissom (Anonymous)

"How'd you find him?"
"Canvassed a square mile radius of the ATM machine. Started throwing bums hamburgers out the car window in a nice tight spiral. They ratted him out in twenty minutes."
-- Gil Grissom and Jim Brass (Anonymous)

"You know I think better when I eat?"
"No kidding."
"Jim, call The Steak House at Circus. Get this fella a Porter-house."
"How do you like it? Med rare. No You look like a well done kinda guy."
"Rare."
-- Bum, Jim Brass and Gil Grissom (Anonymous)

"Dr. Livingston. Your dead man's making cash withdrawals."
-- Jim Brass to Gil Grissom (Anonymous)

"I want this whole plane taped off. Nose-to-tail and Wing-to-wing."
"That's going to take a lot of tape."
-- Gil Grissom and Jim Brass (Unfriendly Skies)

"Something very wrong happened in this plane."
-- Gil Grissom (Unfriendly Skies)

"I got a dead body. And a crime scene with wings."
-- Gil Grissom (Unfriendly Skies)

"An arrest would be good for you, be good for me too. Good for Las Vegas."
"Are you running for Mayor?"
-- Brian Mobley and Gil Grissom (Unfriendly Skies)

"I'm gonna go out here on a limb here and say they're hiding something."
"Then we get to play hide 'n seek."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Unfriendly Skies)

"One step ahead of you. Every so often."
-- Sara Sidle to Gil Grissom (Unfriendly Skies)

"I take it that's not blood?"
"No. But there's protein in it."
"Mile-high club. That means two passengers may have had no idea what was going on inside that cabin."
"Having sex at this altitude is supposed to enhance the entire sexual experience. Increase the euphoria."
"Well, it's good but I don't know if it's that good. Cite your source."
"Hand me a swab, please."
"You're avoiding the question. 'Ehances sexual experience, increases euphoria.' Cite your source."
"A magazine."
"What magazine?"
"Applied Psychodynamics in Forensic Science."
"Never heard of it."
"I'll get you a subscription. Now site your source."
"Oh, now you want to go down that road. Never mind."
"You started it."
"Delta Airlines, Flight 1109, Boston to Miami, March '93, Ken Fuller, hazel eyes, organic chem lab, T.A., BMOC, overrated in every aspect. Could we get back to work please."
"Yeah, I think due to your first hand knowledge and experience in airplane bathrooms you should do the swab."
"Fine."
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Unfriendly Skies)

"... I need their shoes."
"Why are you telling me?"
"Cause you're the people person, right."
"Well, why don't you tell them that. They're not giving me bubkiss."
"Please."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (Unfriendly Skies)

"The blind leading the blind."
-- Gil Grissom, finding out Preston Cash is blind (Unfriendly Skies)

"We have a ping pong ball. We just need to find the paddles?"
-- Gil Grissom (Unfriendly Skies)

"ABCD or all of the above. Stand-off with the police. Guy gets shot in the chest. Runs back into his burning house, inhaling smoke as he goes. Roof collapses. Air conditioning unit falls on his head. He dies. What killed him?"
-- Gil Grissom (Unfriendly Skies)

"Okay. Vicki Mercer and Carl Finn. I believe are in the bathroom."
"Mile-high club?"
"If you ask me, it's their spouses that are the dummies."
-- Gil Grissom, Warrick Brown and Catherine Willows (Unfriendly Skies)

"Look it's gonna be sunrise in ten minutes. We're going to have to do a run Lola run and do this in actual time."
-- Gil Grissom (Unfriendly Skies)

"Tony Candlewell. Dead guy."
"Right there 3C. And for now he's alive until he's dead."
-- Jim Brass and Gil Grissom (Unfriendly Skies)

"You are Lou."
"Lou, the angry businessman. How about that?"
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows to Jim Brass (Unfriendly Skies)

"Catherine, the doctor 3E."
"Single mother, what an imagination you have."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (Unfriendly Skies)

"Max and Marlene 2E and F. You two are married. Who wants to wear the pants?"
"CSI Three seniority. Sweetie."
"Yeah, whatever. You're hen-pecked, anyway."
-- Gil Grissom, Nick Stokes and Warrick Brown (Unfriendly Skies)

"Let me guess. You're the computer geek?"
"In the interest of clarity, yes."
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Unfriendly Skies)

"You all have different opinions, but you've taken the same point of view. You've put yourselves in the shoes of the passengers. But nobody put themselves in the shoes of the victim."
-- Gil Grissom (Unfriendly Skies)

"It took five people to kill him, but it would only have taken one person to save his life."
-- Gil Grissom (Unfriendly Skies)

"I never get used to this part, you know when the bugs get going."
"Just doing what God intended. Recycling us back to earth."
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Sex, Lies and Larvae)

"John. Paul. George. Ringo."
"Beetles."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (Sex, Lies and Larvae)

"You got any of that beef jerky you're always knawing on?"
"You can eat?"
"I want to keep these little fellows alive. They're our first witness to the crime."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (Sex, Lies and Larvae)

"Hey, how's the body with the bugs?"
-- Catherine Willows to Gil Grissom (Sex, Lies and Larvae)

"You've got a missing person. Sheryl Applegate. Her husband notified the police that she took the car and headed to L.A. But she never showed up. A few hours ago, PD found her car at the bus station and requested a C.S.I."
"She took a bus instead. Case solved."
-- Gil Grissom and Nick Stokes (Sex, Lies and Larvae)

"'The worms go in. The worms go out. The worms play pinochle on your snout.'"
"Shakespeare again?"
"An old nursery rhyme."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (Sex, Lies and Larvae)

"A very special insect, Dr. Seuss?"
-- Albert Robbins to Gil Grissom (Sex, Lies and Larvae)

"Okay, bear with me. I mean, you're one of only ten guys in the country who understands this stuff."
"I think there's at least fifteen, but go on... What don't you get?"
"Insects arrive at a corpse in a specific order. Right?"
"Like summer follows the spring."
"And you can pinpoint time of death, based on the type and age of insects present on the body."
"I watch the insects mature. From eggs to larvae to adults. Then count backwards."
"Linear regression."
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Sex, Lies and Larvae)

"I I.D.'d her through AFIS and located her husband."
"Let me guess, downtown? The Freemont district?"
"You know, I'm not even gonna ask."
"Synthesiomyia Nudiseta is the Latin name."
"It's a muscid fly. Only breeds in urban areas, but Grissom found one our girl, which means she was probably killed downtown, and then carried into the mountains."
-- Jim Brass, Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (Sex, Lies and Larvae)

"You have your hands full with her."
"So do you."
-- Scott Shelton and Gil Grissom, about Sara Sidle (Sex, Lies and Larvae)

"Hey, hey. What's the matter with you?"
"I'm a woman and I have a gun and look how he treated me. I can only imagine how he treated his wife."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (Sex, Lies and Larvae)

"All I'm saying is five days is what I need."
"Jim, please don't try and compromise my end of the investigation."
-- Jim Brass and Gil Grissom (Sex, Lies and Larvae)

"Your reputation as an entomologist elevates this entire crime lab, which elevates my stature, by association."
"Well, then you must not feel very small today, by association."
-- Conrad Ecklie and Gil Grissom (Sex, Lies and Larvae)

"You're dropping the ball in other areas, though, administratively."
"Did I miss one of your status meetings?"
"Warrick Brown had one of my guys sub for him in court."
"So? I'm sure something must have come up."
"He told my guy it was an emergency. But I have it on good authority he was gambling at The Monaco."
"What?"
"That's right. On CSI time. I don't like him using one of my guys as a cover. I figure if he brings anybody down with him, it should be from your shift. Don't you think?"
-- Conrad Ecklie and Gil Grissom (Sex, Lies and Larvae)

"I need you to do some background for me on Warrick. Without letting him know why."
"Oh, Warrick, your favorite CSI?"
"That's why I want you to handle it. So that Ecklie can't accuse me of favoritism if it turns out that Warrick's clean."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (Sex, Lies and Larvae)

"You know how you say we're the victim's last voice. I thought it was our job to speak for Kaye Shelton."
"You don't crunch evidence to fit a theory."
"What if you hear the victim's screams? In the car, at the store."
"You have empathy for her, Sara. You want someone to pay for what was done to her that's normal."
"You want to sleep with me?"
"Did you just say what I think you said?"
"That way when I wake up in a cold sweat under the blanket hearing Kaye's screams, you can tell me it's nothing. It's just empathy."
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Sex, Lies and Larvae)

"So you planning a little late night luau? Roast pig."
-- Jim Brass to Gil Grissom (Sex, Lies and Larvae)

"Lemme ask ya this, you killed a pig just for this?"
"This poor ham was already on his way to someones Christmas dinner table."
"I mean wouldn't a rabbit've been easier?"
"Gotta be a pig's. Interestingly there are the most like humans."
"Yeah, I been saying that since I was a rookie."
-- Jim Brass and Gil Grissom (Sex, Lies and Larvae)

"I heard you were going into an autopsy. How can you just move on to another case? They're laughing at us, you know that's right. They think were a bunch of 'Science nerds'. Throwing out our findings."
-- Sara Sidle to Gil Grissom (Sex, Lies and Larvae)

"There was a murder. Recently, on the other side of the world. And every man in the village denied having any part in it. The victim's throat was slashed with a shovel. So, this one guy, I guess you could call him a science nerd, asked all the men in the village to bring their shovels to the center of town. And hold them spade-side up. And he waited. And eventually flies started showing up on one specific shovel. Looking for microscopic bits of blood and flesh."
"First witness to a crime."
"The investigator got his murderer, and --"
"And forensic science was born. Sung T'su. Twelve-thirty five, A.D. You call eight hundred years ago recent?
To an astronomer, it is. But then people forgot about forensic science, didn't they? And had to be reminded again by Francesco Redi in the 1600's."
"And again with Bergeret d'Arbois in the 1800's."
"Every civilization learns what it needs to know, and the next one forgets it."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (Sex, Lies and Larvae)

"You're confused right."
"Yes."
"That's the best place for a scientist to be."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (Sex, Lies and Larvae)

"Well, if it isn't 'the boss' himself. Where's your 'E' Street band?"
"They had another gig."
-- Jim Brass and Gil Grissom (I-15 Murders)

"How you doing, Jim? How's the old job?"
"Puh, I can sling scum all day long. You?"
"I curse more."
-- Gil Grissom and Jim Brass (I-15 Murders)

"Catherine. We have a 418. An obituary on a stall door."
-- Gil Grissom (I-15 Murders)

"Could I borrow a hammer."
-- Gil Grissom to supermarket manager (I-15 Murders)

"The person who wrote this is left-handed."
"And we know that because..."
"The t-bar in catch is left-tending. And uneducated... The contraction in 'Iv'e' is misplaced. Then we have the large, arched hood in the letter 'y,' and the arches in the bottom of the 'l's'. This indicates criminal tendency. Which is supported by the heavy pastiosity which suggests low impulse control."
"Heavy pastiosity?"
"The pressure. How firmly you put pen to paper."
"Or marker to metal. Do we know anything else?"
"Yes. Overall, the handwriting is cursive and round. This tells me it was written... by a woman."
-- Dr. Rambar, Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (I-15 Murders)

"You weren't in your office."
"And good morning to you, too. Miss Sidle."
"Warrick has a problem. Ignoring it isn't going to make it go away. You ask for a report on Warrick, and then you disregard it."
"I read your report."
"So you feel comfortable jeopardizing our unit to placate an addict?"
"I see the whole puzzle, Sara. You're only seeing one piece."
"Then at least take him off my case."
"No I trust him, do you trust me?"
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (I-15 Murders)

"You know how you're always pushing that Holy Trinity stuff?"
"Father, son and Holy Ghost?"
"Victim, suspect and crime scene."
"Oh, that one."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (I-15 Murders)

"Well, we don't have a victim. We don't have a suspect. All we have is a crime scene. The restroom at Marty's Market. With a message: I killed five women. So I figured there had to be four others."
"You found the other four victims?"
"No. I found the four other crime scenes."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (I-15 Murders)

"So, my guys tell me that your guy Nick is helping a 'working girl.' At a five-star. And it was quite a commotion."
"Really."
"Yeah, if I know, it means a lot of other people know. People bigger than you and me Kid from the crime lab doing favors for a hooker? Can't make the unit look good, huh, 'boss'?"
"Yeah well I'll get into it."
"You know I bet that's just what Nicky said."
-- Jim Brass and Gil Grissom (I-15 Murders)

"You two ladies done talking?"
-- Catherine Willows to Jim Brass and Gil Grissom (I-15 Murders)

"This is bizarre. The body's cold."
"In this heat?"
"And she's stiff. Like a two-minute burrito that's only been nuked for a minute."
-- Gil Grissom and Jim Brass (I-15 Murders)

"This girl you've been helping with the 416...?"
"She got in a fight with a Security Guard."
"She a friend of yours?"
"You asking me what I think you're asking me?"
"Are you doing any thing that could compromise the unit?"
"I don't believe this. You've always been so cool."
"I have to ask. Goes with the job."
"Sanders ratted me out, right?"
"No, Brass. Do you want to talk about this?"
"I don't think so."
-- Gil Grissom and Nick Stokes (I-15 Murders)

"'Scuse you. What's his problem?"
"Me. I guess."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom, about Nick Stokes (I-15 Murders)

"That's my 'Big Mouth Billy Bass.' It's better than a watch dog... I got valuable stuff in here."
"Must be a lot of people looking to steal your two-headed scorpion. Not to mention 'Miss Piggy.'"
-- Gil Grissom and Nick Stokes (I-15 Murders)

"If Mohammed won't go to the mountain. Then, the mountain must go to Mohammed."
-- Gil Grissom to Nick Stokes (I-15 Murders)

"Do you ever worry that technology's going to make us obsolete?"
"No."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (I-15 Murders)

"This one's a blonde."
"And blue."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (I-15 Murders)

"I took a tissue sample from her heart."
"It looks like the planet Krypton."
"More like Kryptonite. Those are actually ice crystals, Superman."
-- Jenna Williams and Gil Grissom (I-15 Murders)

"Just give an innocent bystander a second to clear out."
"What are you worried about?"
"One minute I'm eating a tomato salad and the next I'm gazpacho."
-- Jim Brass and Gil Grissom (Fahrenheit 932)

"How'd he find you? 1-800-GRISSOM?"
-- Sara Sidle to Gil Grissom (Fahrenheit 932)

"Am I disturbing you?"
"Yeah."
"Good."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Fahrenheit 932)

"'Organization'... minus one."
-- Nick Stokes, evaluating Gil Grissom (Fahrenheit 932)

"Do I seem like the kind of guy who skips stuff?"
-- Gil Grissom to Jim Brass (Fahrenheit 932)

"Read my lips there is no compelling evidence to suggest Damon was wrongfully charged."
"Well, then it'll be a short interview, won't it."
-- Jim Brass and Gil Grissom (Fahrenheit 932)

"Yo, Grissom. Man, this guy's the reason I'm in here. Shoe print. Yo man, next time I'll go barefoot."
"Even better, foot prints."
-- Inmate and Gil Grissom (Fahrenheit 932)

"I'll take your case, I don't know whether I'll help you or not."
-- Gil Grissom to Frank Damon (Fahrenheit 932)

"Nothing harder to investigate than arson. If the fire hasn't ruined your crime scene..."
"the firemen have."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (Fahrenheit 932)

"Listen to yourselves. You're like Dodger fans. The Ball game's only in the seventh inning and you're already out of your seats."
-- Gil Grissom to Warrick Brown and Sara Sidle (Fahrenheit 932)

"Night shift so slow you have to pick over my cases?"
-- Conrad Ecklie to Gil Grissom (Fahrenheit 932)

"What are you so afraid of, Conrad? We're just a couple of science geeks. Why can't we work together?"
"No, we are public servants."
-- Gil Grissom and Conrad Ecklie (Fahrenheit 932)

"We're not a clearinghouse for defendants on the eve of trail who don't like what we turned up."
"Yes, we are. If it's our mistake that put them there."
-- Conrad Ecklie and Gil Grissom (Fahrenheit 932)

"So what happens now?"
"We chase the lie 'til it leads to the truth."
-- Warrick Brown and Gil Grissom (Fahrenheit 932)

"I told you everything."
"Your bedroom door frame disagrees."
-- Frank Damon and Gil Grissom (Fahrenheit 932)

"You tried to save them but that doesn't mean you didn't start the fire. Are you lying about that too?"
"You tell me."
"I will."
-- Gil Grissom and Frank Damon (Fahrenheit 932)

"What the hell are you doing?"
"Something you probably should have done."
-- Conrad Ecklie and Gil Grissom (Fahrenheit 932)

"You ever worry about professional suicide?"
"Not while I'm committing it, no."
-- Warrick Brown and Gil Grissom (Fahrenheit 932)

"You son of a bitch. You swept my crime scene. You sent clean up."
-- Gil Grissom to Conrad Ecklie (Fahrenheit 932)

"Coffee? Guess you don't want cream with that."
-- Conrad Ecklie, when Gil Grissom hits the coffee pot out of his hand (Fahrenheit 932)

"Thanks, Ecklie."
-- Gil Grissom, after he figures out where the pieces of glass came from (Fahrenheit 932)

"It's funny, when I got out, I thought I'd feel free."
"And?"
"I feel..."
"Responsible."
-- Gil Grissom and Frank Damon (Fahrenheit 932)

"Oh, these fire guys really know how to trash a crime scene."
"That's what they do. Put wet stuff on the red stuff."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Boom)

"The Van Gogh effect. In stereo. Both ears gone."
-- Gil Grissom (Boom)

"Stay curious."
-- Gil Grissom to Sara Sidle (Boom)

"Oh, uh ... hi, I've ... I've, um, I've seen you on tv before. I admire your work."
"Well, thank you. And your name is ... ?"
"Dominic. Uh, I-C rather than with the I-C-K... uh, Kretzker. I'm the, uh, Hansen Building Security Detail."
-- Dominic Kretzker and Gil Grissom (Boom)

"Well, I know a lot about bombs. You know, pipe, power, powder. The three Ps of mass destruction."
-- Dominic Kretzker to Gil Grissom (Boom)

"Whoever did this is playing with us."
"Or he wants to get caught."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Boom)

"What's orange and melts?"
"I would have to investigate that."
"Thank you."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (Boom)

"What were you thinking, Nicky?"
"I wasn't."
-- Gil Grissom and Nick Stokes (Boom)

"Ecklie's going to be all over this."
-- Gil Grissom (Boom)

"When you're a suspect and you're innocent, keep your mouth shut. I'll talk to Ecklie."
"Bad idea. You and Ecklie ... oil and water. Just let me get into it."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (Boom)

"I can't just sit here."
"Okay, go for a walk. Maybe you'll accidentally bump into your guy, 'Jack?'"
-- Nick Stokes and Gil Grissom (Boom)

"If Nick's arrested. it's not going to matter that he's cleared later."
"No. It's an automatic dismissal."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Boom)

"Find the clock our guy used?"
"Not yet."
"This is a good choice. According to the bomb data center which has a record of every component used in any bomb from Ted Kaczynski to teenage boys playing with fireworks the most recent timing device of choice is made by TimeTell SnoozeWell, $10.99 at any local drugstore."
"You spoiled all my fun."
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Boom)

"What are you guys doing?"
"We're going to go blow up some bombs."
"Oh, I definitely got the wrong end of this investigation."
"Alas, poor Warrick."
-- Warrick Brown, Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Boom)

"Don't you love the smell of sulfur in the afternoon?"
-- Jim Brass, to Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (Boom)

"Is this from the Hansen bomb?"
"Sure is."
"You keep your key piece of evidence that could nail you?"
"Hey, that's sentimental."
"Well, that's cute."
-- Gil Grissom, Dominic Kretzker and Jim Brass (Boom)

"Is this from the Hansen bomb?"
"Sure is."
"You keep your key piece of evidence that could nail you?"
"Hey, that's sentimental."
"Well, that's cute."
-- Gil Grissom, Dominic Kretzker and Jim Brass (Boom)

"I can't tell whether he's brilliant or... nuts."
"Sound familiar?"
-- Gil Grissom and Jim Brass, about Dominic Kretzker (Boom)

"Wow. You're just like me. Except better-looking."
-- Dominic Kretzker to Gil Grissom (Boom)

"Dominic ... I'm not a police officer. I-I-I'm a Crime Scene Analyst."
"Yeah, but we know who really solves the crimes, don't we, sir?"
-- Gil Grissom and Dominic Kretzker (Boom)

"I have a new favorite color."
"Orange?"
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Boom)

"I hope you had your Hepatitis B shot."
-- Catherine Willows to Gil Grissom (To Halve and to Hold)

"It could be a piece of wrist bone."
"Well, do you want to suck it ... to be sure?"
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (To Halve and to Hold)

"So ... you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"How amazing the universe is. Everything made from the same carbon stars to trees, trucks to human bones."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (To Halve and to Hold)

"I'll take toe bones for $200, Alex."
-- Gil Grissom (To Halve and to Hold)

"All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back together again."
-- Gil Grissom (To Halve and to Hold)

"Hmm. Well, maybe you two don't need me, after all."
"I would never turn away a scientist of your talent."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows, about Teri Miller (To Halve and to Hold)

"I'm glad you're here."
-- Gil Grissom to Teri Miller (To Halve and to Hold)

"Bone of a pig. They are the most like humans, as you know."
-- Teri Miller to Gil Grissom (To Halve and to Hold)

"I don't like your tone, young man."
-- Rose Bennett to Gil Grissom (To Halve and to Hold)

"I need to apologize for not returning your call last month."
"Teri, I admire your dedication to your work."
"Um ... dedication to my work didn't keep me from returning your call."
"Oh. It ... it was nothing. I-I-I just called to see how you were doing."
"Um ... well ... are you still interested in how I'm doing?"
"Of course."
-- Teri Miller and Gil Grissom (To Halve and to Hold)

"Do you have to go? I mean ... couldn't you take a later flight?"
"More bones?"
"Have dinner with me later."
"I think the bodies will keep."
-- Gil Grissom and Teri Miller (To Halve and to Hold)

"I'm surprised. I'm having a nice time."
"Were you expecting a bad time?"
"No. I just thought we might be uncomfortable away from work."
"Are you?"
"No."
"Nor am I."
"Good."
-- Gil Grissom and Teri Miller (To Halve and to Hold)

"It's kind of like that old saying: 'How a person does one thing is ..."
"... how a person does everything.'"
-- Teri Miller and Gil Grissom (To Halve and to Hold)

"It's interesting to me how you always expect the worst."
"You see, that way, I'm never disappointed. You know, sometimes I'm nicely surprised."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (To Halve and to Hold)

"Are the bones whispering to you?"
-- Catherine Willows to Gil Grissom (To Halve and to Hold)

"She looks distraught."
"Is that because she just found out he's dead or because she got caught?"
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows, about Rose Bennett (To Halve and to Hold)

"Right, there's always a clue, except we don't have a body."
-- Catherine Willows to Gil Grissom (To Halve and to Hold)

"Nice tux, Sheriff."
-- Gil Grissom to Brian Mobley (Table Stakes)

"Come for the hors d'oeuvres ... stay for the interrogation."
-- Gil Grissom (Table Stakes)

"Strangulation's a man's crime."
"Preaching to the converted."
-- Gil Grissom and Albert Robbins (Table Stakes)

"Something wrong?"
"Yes. A woman's dead."
-- Patrick Haynes and Gil Grissom (Table Stakes)

"Close your mouth."
-- Catherine Willows to Gil Grissom, when he's staring at a showgirl (Table Stakes)

"Are you a doctor?"
"Of sorts."
-- Showgirl and Gil Grissom (Table Stakes)

"I'm just, um ... looking around."
"See anything you like?"
"Yes. I do."
-- Gil Grissom and showgirl (Table Stakes)

"What's with the smile?"
"It's playing our song."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom, about the music box (Table Stakes)

"You know, when Eddie and I were first married when things were kind of good? On the anniversary of the day we first met, he'd always give me a lace teddy. Well, I mean, I know it's not a music box, but ... "
"Music box, lace teddy, it's all the same thing it's tradition. And the joy of tradition is in the constant repetition."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Table Stakes)

"Caught in the act."
"I think that was the point."
"Oh, yeah."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom, about walking in on Patrick and Amanda Haynes (Table Stakes)

"Sir, I have four criminalists working on this. No ... as soon as we find something tangible I'll call you, I promise."
"Sheriff?"
"Yeah, he calls me every hour. I can't get anything done."
"Every half for me."
-- Gil Grissom and Jim Brass, about Brian Mobley (Table Stakes)

"May I have your straw? I ... I collect them."
-- Gil Grissom to Amanda Haynes, collecting evidence (Table Stakes)

"So, either she's extremely hygienic, or..."
"... Somebody did some serious spring cleaning."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom, about the hairbrush and the toothbrush not containing any DNA (Table Stakes)

"Are you looking for work?"
-- Gil Grissom to Nick Stokes, when he's disturbed during the interrogation (Table Stakes)

"Sometimes in interrogations, Nick, you get one chance, one answer. And while I'm out here screwing around with you he's in there thinking up an answer that he didn't have before you walked in."
-- Gil Grissom (Table Stakes)

"Do you have any idea what the hot topic of conversation is going to be when I walk into that breakfast?"
"You're announcing your candidacy for Mayor?"
"That's cute."
-- Brian Mobley and Gil Grissom (Table Stakes)

"You know, I think you're going to get my vote for mayor."
-- Gil Grissom to Brian Mobley (Table Stakes)

"What have we got on Richmond?"
"A canine."
"Her dog."
"Her tooth."
-- Brian Mobley and Gil Grissom (Table Stakes)

"What about the rest of her?"
"Still looking."
"Well, look harder, 'cause if someone leaks it to the press that she's dead and then she gets off a lear jet at McCarran with a tan, we're both going to have egg on our face and I'm going to hold you responsible."
-- Brian Mobley and Gil Grissom (Table Stakes)

"Shall we do the room, too?"
-- Gil Grissom to Catherine Willows (Table Stakes)

"Where you been?"
"Proctologist."
"Sheriff getting your ass, eh?"
-- Jim Brass and Gil Grissom (Table Stakes)

"Thank you, my sherpas."
-- Gil Grissom to Catherine Willows and Warrick Brown (Too Tough to Die)

"The prelim's in four days."
"Well, no pressure here."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (Too Tough to Die)

"Locard's principle: He took a piece of her away with him and he left a piece of himself here. We get to find it."
-- Gil Grissom to Nick Stokes (Too Tough to Die)

"People are usually meticulous in planning up to a murder. They rarely plan the aftermath."
-- Gil Grissom (Too Tough to Die)

"If you try and chase two rabbits you end up losing them both."
-- Gil Grissom to Sara Sidle (Too Tough to Die)

"This sweatband might give us DNA and I could compare it to the samples I collected off of Jane at the hospital."
"Jane?"
"Our ... Jane Doe. My 'death imminent.'"
"First-name basis, Sara?"
-- Sara Sidle, Gil Grissom and Nick Stokes (Too Tough to Die)

"You're a grown man, Nick. Stop whining."
-- Gil Grissom (Too Tough to Die)

"She's, um ... breathing."
"She's evidence."
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Too Tough to Die)

"Any luck on 23rd street?"
"I, uh, broke in my new shoes. That's about it."
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Too Tough to Die)

"Sara. Do you have any diversions?"
"Do I what?"
"You max out on overtime every month. You go home and listen to your police scanner ... You read forensic textbooks ..."
"Yeah."
"Look, every day we meet people on the worst day of their lives. It's a lot to deal with. Everyone who's had any time on this job knows that you have to have a diversion in order to cope with what we see. What do you do for fun?"
"I chase rabbits. And ... I read crime books. And I listen to the scanner."
"You need something outside of law enforcement. Catherine has her kid, you know? I sometimes ... ride roller coasters. What do you do?"
"Nothing."
"Okay. What do you like?"
"I don't like anything."
"You've got to find something to like. You can't get too close to the victims."
"She's special ... to me. I can't help it."
"If you don't find something they'll all become special and you'll burn out."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (Too Tough to Die)

"You're rushing this for Sara."
"My priority is the case, Nick."
-- Nick Stokes and Gil Grissom (Too Tough to Die)

"What do I got to say to a scientist?"
"You could say 'hello.'"
-- Shandra Thorpe and Gil Grissom (Too Tough to Die)

"I don't want to ever see you in this building again. This is our place of business. You understand that?"
"I always knew you two had a thing."
-- Eddie Willows to Gil Grissom (Too Tough to Die)

"Are we supposed to keep up with those guys?"
"Yeah!"
-- Nick Stokes and Gil Grissom, about following the scent dogs (Too Tough to Die)

"The husband doesn't get it. He's so happy she's going to live. He doesn't realize she's going to be in a vegetative state for the rest of her life. And that kid Thorpe ... is going to be out of juvie in 48 months. It's not fair."
"It's the system."
"What kind of system rewards the suspect when the victim is too tough to die?"
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Too Tough to Die)

"Sara ... you got to learn to let this go or you're going to spend all your time in hospitals trying to help the people you couldn't save."
"I wish I was like you, Grissom. I wish I didn't feel anything."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (Too Tough to Die)

"Introductions?"
"Joseph Felton, 44. Not an employee; no reason to be here."
"Mind if he and I have a moment together?"
-- Gil Grissom and Jim Brass (Face Lift)

"Yeah, I think our robbery suspect is a homicide victim."
"One way to beat the rap."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (Face Lift)

"Hey, you forget about the coroner?"
"Melissa Marlowe."
"Excuse me?"
"You lifted 38 prints from the pottery store. I scanned them through AFIS. One came back. Melissa Marlowe."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Face Lift)

"I have a question."
"Okay."
"Since I screwed up our last date, will we ever have dinner again?"
"Oh, we'll have dinner ... just not together."
-- Gil Grissom and Teri Miller (Face Lift)

"Catherine, say hello to Melissa Marlowe."
"Oh, my god."
"What?"
"That's Tammy Felton and we've already met."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (Face Lift)

"You and I have an appointment with our shrink."
-- Gil Grissom to Catherine Willows (Face Lift)

"Kidnapped children at that age tend to exhibit some degree of sociopathy as adults."
"Such as?"
"Inability to feel guilt, compassion or love, right?"
"Correct. But the most defining characteristic is their instinct for survival. There's nothing that they won't do."
-- Dr. Phillip Kane, Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Face Lift)

"Gil ... be careful. Sociopaths are dangerous because they don't function by the same... moral code as the rest of us."
"Welcome to my world."
-- Dr. Phillip Kane and Gil Grissom (Face Lift)

"Tell me, am I radiating a green glow?"
-- Nick Stokes to Gil Grissom (Face Lift)

"What's uranium doing on a murder weapon anyway?"
"Well, before Peter Parker was bit by that radioactive spider and became spider-man back in the '50s oxidized uranium flecks were used as color enhancers."
-- Nick Stokes and Gil Grissom (Face Lift)

"What were you thinking?"
"I don't know. I wanted to observe them, I guess."
"That woman hasn't seen her daughter in 21 years. You actually thought a glass wall would keep them apart?"
"I never thought about that."
"I know. You're not good with people."
"Yeah."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Face Lift)

"Why didn't you say something when you gave us the case?"
"Well, in science we learn through experimentation, right? Sometimes we need to see it to believe it. You guys did a nice job."
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Face Lift)

"Carjackers don't use knives."
"Never?"
"They used to say, 'Never on Sunday.' Then Pearl Harbor happened. I never say, 'Never.'"
-- Gil Grissom and Jim Brass ($35K O.B.O.)

"We got three minutes to process this crime scene! After that, we lose it all to the gutters!"
-- Gil Grissom about rain at a crime scene ($35K O.B.O.)

"We're losing everything!"
"Yeah ... our killer got lucky tonight."
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom ($35K O.B.O.)

"Well, I haven't felt that in a while."
"What's that?"
"The element of surprise."
-- Gil Grissom and Jim Brass ($35K O.B.O.)

"Yeah, I know. You know, I ... I can't believe you messed up the crime scene."
"The body fell out when I opened the door. It happens. We move on."
"Mmm. Going to bother you all day."
-- Jim Brass and Gil Grissom ($35K O.B.O.)

"Maybe she's like 28% of Americans -- she doesn't buckle up."
"I think it's 29%, actually."
-- Jim Brass and Gil Grissom ($35K O.B.O.)

"Hope you're not allergic there, boss."
"What?"
"Cat hair."
-- Nick Stokes and Gil Grissom ($35K O.B.O.)

"An anobiid powder-post beetle. Very nice specimen."
"He likes you, too. Now, tell me about him."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows ($35K O.B.O.)

"Forget the beetle; this damage was intentional. You're looking for a homosapien."
"I know. Gives new meaning to 'home wrecker.'"
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows ($35K O.B.O.)

"Catherine, there's a reason I assigned you this case. You're good with people, both the dead and the living."
"Translation: We're opening a political can of worms."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows ($35K O.B.O.)

"Can I keep it?"
"Sorry. It's evidence."
"Don't forget to feed him."
"I know-- wood."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows ($35K O.B.O.)

"It's a scientist's right to re-examine his theory with each new piece of evidence, Nick."
-- Gil Grissom ($35K O.B.O.)

"The Shepherds, to the world they looked like the perfect couple."
"You know what they say about looks."
"They can be deceiving?"
"They can kill."
-- Jim Brass and Gil Grissom ($35K O.B.O.)

"We can't speak from the evidence, Nick, and everybody else is dead."
-- Gil Grissom ($35K O.B.O.)

"I'd also like to get blood samples from each family member."
[...]
"Is it going to hurt?"
"I hope not."
-- Gil Grissom and Tyler Anderson (Gentle, Gentle)

You think the suspect printed the ransom note from inside the house while they were sleeping?"
"I'm not thinking anything yet."
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Gentle, Gentle)

"Take this to the lab in a controlled space, 72 degrees Fahrenheit and open it. Keep this in the same room-temp space."
"Okay, then what?"
"Process, Nick. Process."
-- Gil Grissom and Nick Stokes (Gentle, Gentle)

"Damn, Warrick!"
"I'm sorry. Your ticker okay?"
-- Gil Grissom and Warrick Brown (Gentle, Gentle)

"You smell something?"
"I smell these dirty diapers over here."
-- Gil Grissom and Warrick Brown (Gentle, Gentle)

"I hear you're backlogged."
"Twenty 'unknowns' from some drug shoot-out. FBI special request. Sheriff told me to clear it off my counter before I do anything else."
"These?"
"Yeah. You can almost smell Quantico, you know?"
[Grissom grabs the paperwork in front of Greg and puts it aside on the cart with all the samples on it. He then pushes the car out the door and into the hallway where it stops when it hits the wall.]
"There. Now they're off your counter."
-- Gil Grissom and Greg Sanders (Gentle, Gentle)

"Zachary Anderson, DOB 01-23-01. Date of death, three hours ago. Until we find out how and why ... ... this is the only case you work on."
-- Gil Grissom to Greg Sanders (Gentle, Gentle)

"Never seen him like this before."
-- Nick Stokes about Gil Grissom (Gentle, Gentle)

"You told me a few weeks ago that nothing is personal. No victim should be special. Everyone follows your lead."
"Everyone didn't find that baby. I did. And that little boy is dead because someone lost their temper or screwed up, or god knows what. So, excuse me, but this victim is special."
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Gentle, Gentle)

"People are calling us killers. And I miss my little brother."
"That still doesn't mean you didn't kill him."
-- Tyler Anderson and Gil Grissom (Gentle, Gentle)

"Gil Grissom! You found the baby. How hard is it for you to look at Gwen Anderson?"
"Let me tell you something. People are presumed innocent ... innocent until a court of law can examine all the evidence and prove otherwise. Until then everything else is ... gossip."
-- Reporter and Gil Grissom (Gentle, Gentle)

"You didn't answer my question."
"You're right. I didn't."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Gentle, Gentle)

"Hey, can I go with you?"
-- Sara Sidle to Gil Grissom (Gentle, Gentle)

"You're an average family burdened with a tragedy that put you under a microscope. That close, nobody can look good."
-- Gil Grissom to Gwen Anderson (Gentle, Gentle)

"Hey, O'Riley, I wouldn't book those suspects just yet. I think they ran over a corpse."
-- Gil Grissom to Ray O'Riley (Sounds of Silence)

"Hey, remember about three months ago I applied to the American Academy meeting in Chicago? Well, the deadline for your approval is end of shift today."
"It's not a problem."
"There's important papers to be presented ..."
"You don't have to explain -- Consider it done."
"Thank you."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Sounds of Silence)

"How'd it go at the college?"
"They're not cooperating."
"Yeah, we didn't have a warrant, so she kicked us out."
"What did you do?"
"What did we do? We met with the president, asked a few questions."
"She was kind of hostile."
"Like it's our fault we can hear."
-- Gil Grissom, Sara Sidle and Warrick Brown (Sounds of Silence)

"You don't need to hear or speak to communicate. Or ... commit murder."
-- Gil Grissom (Sounds of Silence)

"So, you going to tell us how you learned to sign?"
"No."
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Sounds of Silence)

"Well, the president of the college is a real whack job."
"Sara, you see deafness as a pathology. For Dr. Gilbert, her deafness is not her handicap -- it's her way of life."
"You know, I think you might be siding with her."
"As long as you see this as us versus them, you're going to have problems on this case."
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Sounds of Silence)

"Sorry. I was thinking."
"About what it's like to be deaf?"
"About what it's like to hear."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (Sounds of Silence)

"You missed the deadline. No Chicago for me."
"Oh, Catherine ..."
"This is the one meeting I needed to attend. I don't always want to be second banana. I can probably do your job. I know that I can do Ecklie's."
"I forgot. I'm so sorry."
"Make sure to submit the paperwork by the end of the day."
"I thought you said that it was too late."
"Well, I knew you'd forget so I upped the deadline -- gave you a buffer. Don't forget again."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Sounds of Silence)

"You know anything about lice?"
"Yeah. They make your head itch. And, after head colds the most common medical problem affecting children."
"Little problem no one talks about, huh?"
-- Warrick Brown and Gil Grissom (Sounds of Silence)

"I am the man."
"Why? What did you do? Let me guess. You ran a DNA profile on the blood from the dead guy's knuckles and you got a match."
"No."
"You ran a DNA profile and something very distinctive popped up?"
"Not quite."
"You made it out of bed and you dressed yourself?"
-- Greg Sanders, Warrick Brown and Gil Grissom (Sounds of Silence)

"What do you call a guy with blue-dotted blood, lice and keys to a ford explorer?"
"A suspect?"
"A killer."
-- Gil Grissom and Warrick Brown (Sounds of Silence)

"You want to know why Brian Clemonds ran away from you? It was dark, you were shouting at him and he didn't understand what you were saying. Brian Clemonds was deaf. He was afraid of you. But you were more afraid of him ... weren't you?"
-- Gil Grissom to Mark Rucker (Sounds of Silence)

"Who taught you to sign?"
"My mother."
"Tell me about her. And use your hands. You're a little rusty."
-- Jane Gilbert and Gil Grissom (Sounds of Silence)

"I don't need him to talk. I just want his blood."
-- Gil Grissom (Sounds of Silence)

"Mountain lions are brutal."
"And smart. This one evidently knows how to use a scalpel."
-- Warrick Brown and Gil Grissom (Justice is Served)

"A six-year-old girl died on a ride at the carnival over on Washington. The paperwork's on your desk."
"Did you straighten up my office while you were in there?"
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Justice is Served)

"Most people don't admit when they're wrong."
"I'm wrong all the time. That's how I eventually get to right."
-- Nick Stokes and Gil Grissom (Justice is Served)

"Like David Crosby said, big fella: 'If I'd known I was going to live this long I'd have taken better care of my teeth.'"
-- Gil Grissom (Justice is Served)

"Did you ever hear a dog say 'woof-woof,' Greg? I mean, what is the origin of that? And what do we sound like to them, I wonder."
"I don't know. Probably blah, blah, blah."
"Did you come here with some particular 'blah, blah, blah' for me?"
"Yes. Two words. Paw prints. Your dentally-challenged killer left them all over the vic's clothes."
-- Gil Grissom and Greg Sanders (Justice is Served)

"And, according to my sagacious calculations, this is a big dog. At least a hundred pounds."
"Now if we can just figure out where he went to medical school we'll be home free."
-- Greg Sanders and Gil Grissom (Justice is Served)

"Uh, we're supposed to like scat patrol?"
-- Warrick Brown to Gil Grissom (Justice is Served)

"Sometimes we deal with bugs, worms, waste or worse. But, as scientists, we look beyond the possibly offensive qualities of these things to what they might tell us about the puzzle we're trying to solve."
"Man, do you turn it on like this at your seminars?"
"People actually pay to go to my seminars, Nick."
-- Gil Grissom and Nick Stokes (Justice is Served)

"You're assuming a lot."
"So are you."
-- Gil Grissom and Susan Hillridge (Justice is Served)

"I don't hold onto things. I accept the evolution of change. We live, we die, we replenish the earth."
"Man's best friend ... but not yours, huh?"
"None of us gets out alive. I would think, in your job, you'd know that."
-- Susan Hillridge and Gil Grissom (Justice is Served)

"Tell me, Mr. Grissom, how does a man choose death as his profession?"
"It chose me, actually."
-- Susan Hillridge and Gil grissom (Justice is Served)

"She gives me the willies."
"We can't arrest her for that."
-- Warrick Brown and Gil Grissom (Justice is Served)

"You know, there are places overseas that'll pay 50 grand for one lung? Sixty for a heart?"
"And you know this because...?"
"Not firsthand. Not even secondhand. At the last funeral directors' convention ... you'd be amazed what you hear. But, you know, it takes a lot to keep a business afloat."
[...]
"It's amazing what you can learn at a convention."
-- Randy Gesek and Gil Grissom (Justice is Served)

"Are you here for a nutritional consultation or to eavesdrop on my investigation?"
-- Gil Grissom to Susan Hillridge (Justice is Served)

"You disappoint me. I thought you were smarter than that."
-- Susan Hillridge to Gil Grissom (Justice is Served)

"'T2he last act is bloody, however, fine the rest of the play.'"
"Pascal. Very impressive. I prefer Buddha, though. 'Even death is not to be feared by those who lived wisely.'"
-- Susan Hillridge and Gil Grissom (Justice is Served)

"Whoa, whoa. So she's not selling the organs on the black market ... she's eating them?"
"Possibly drinking them."
-- Nick Stokes and Gil Grissom (Justice is Served)

"Think of the bugs, Grissom. Cycle of life. Angels versus insects. When we die the fable we tell ourselves is we go toward a white light and angels. But you and I both know the hard reality is that insects arrive immediately and begin turning us back to earth."
"Yes. But the insects haven't killed anyone."
"No. But they'd die if they didn't have bodies to feed off of. And so will I."
-- Susan Hillridge and Gil Grissom (Justice is Served)

"You have one more question. How could I consume raw organs? Not morally -- aesthetically. I dried them and ground them into powder."
"Protein powder."
"You want an empirical experience? There's a fresh shake in my fridge."
-- Susan Hillridge and Gil Grissom (Justice is Served)

"She is nuts, right?"
"She's a cold blooded killer."
-- Ray O'Riley and Gil Grissom about Susan Hillridge (Justice is Served)

"4-19?"
"More like a four."
-- Gil Grissom and Jim Brass about a severed head (Evaluation Day)

"'Ichabod was horror-struck on perceiving that he was headless.'"
"...Sleepy hollow."
-- Gil Grissom and Jim Brass (Evaluation Day)

"Vitreous humor is glazed over."
"What does that mean?"
"That means that, six to eight hours ago somebody lost their head. Then ... somebody lost their head."
-- Gil Grissom and Jim Brass (Evaluation Day)

"I forgot."
"Well, maybe we should be evaluating you."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (Evaluation Day)

"I'll meet you at the autopsy. 'Head'-topsy."
-- Catherine Willows to Gil Grissom (Evaluation Day)

"Repeat after me. Silk, silk, silk."
"'Silk, silk, silk'?"
"At do cows drink?"
"Milk."
-- Gil Grissom and Nick Stokes (Evaluation Day)

"If I'm not ready, be a man -- tell me I'm not ready."
"You're not ready."
-- Nick Stokes and Gil Grissom (Evaluation Day)

"Anybody who's great at anything, Nick, does it for their own approval not someone else's."
-- Gil Grissom to Nick Stokes (Evaluation Day)

"Definitely a crime of passion."
"You think a female could do this?"
"I could have."
"Scared of you."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Evaluation Day)

"Where's your crock-pot, Doc?"
-- Gil Grissom to Albert Robbins (Evaluation Day)

"So bizarre, human behavior. What you can't cut out of your mind you can always cut out of your photo album."
-- Gil Grissom (Evaluation Day)

"What are you doing?"
"Working the case."
"What case?"
"The skinned gorilla torso forty miles outside of Baker. Remember?"
"I don't think that is a case."
"Well, it was at the start of shift. A crime has been committed."
"I hate to be the one to state the obvious, but, uh ... this isn't a human being we're dealing with -- it's an animal."
"And ..."
"And every time a dog gets run over you can't go to the vet to examine it."
"I can't believe you. You, with your pet tarantula your maggot farms, that komodo dragon on back order ... you should be more sympathetic to the senseless murder of an innocent gorilla."
"You're right. I apologize. I was just checking to see where your head was at."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (Evaluation Day)

"We got another dead body call."
"Wait. Is he missing a head?"
"Maybe."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (Evaluation Day)

"Your evaluation form. 'Overall performance: Outstanding.' 'Ability to prioritize:' ... 'Improvement needed.'"
-- Gil Grissom to Sara Sidle (Evaluation Day)

"By the way, what about my evaluation?"
"Keep up the good work, Catherine."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Evaluation Day)

"So the footlocker had no headroom."
-- Gil Grissom (Evaluation Day)

"Victor DaSilva's entire house was covered in plastic. He was having it painted."
"Really? Who's the painter?"
"Nobody famous."
"Yet."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (Evaluation Day)

"Okay, let's get right to it. What's your shoe size?"
"Why?"
"I have a shoe fetish. I love feet."
-- Catherine Willows, Trent Calloway and Gil Grissom (Evaluation Day)

"I'd tell you not to step on the evidence, but, uh..."
"Yeah, but what's the point? Pretty good gimmick they got here, though. You eat peanuts, toss the shells on the floor -- nobody gives a rat's ass."
-- Gil Grissom and Jim Brass (Evaluation Day)

"Excuse me. You recognize this ear?"
-- Gil Grissom to restaurant manager (Evaluation Day)

"Every nine years and 34 days I feel like sharing."
-- Gil Grissom to Warrick Brown (Evaluation Day)

"Whatever happened to my evaluation?"
"You're sitting in it"
-- Warrick Brown and Gil Grissom (Evaluation Day)

"Y'all here for lunch?"
"No. Takeout."
-- Fred Applewhite and Gil Grissom (Evaluation Day)

"Listen, no emotions in here."
"He's escalating, Grissom."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (The Strip Strangler)

"Well, look for prints."
"Don't bother. There aren't any. Just like the last time. The guy's Mr. Clean."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (The Strip Strangler)

"Peeping toms to murderers?"
"It's about crossing boundaries. It's like, uh, with cake, you know? You're just going to have a little bit of the frosting and you end up eating the entire plate."
-- Warrick Brown and Gil Grissom (The Strip Strangler)

"It's great to meet you. All our kids back in Quantico are always going on about your bugs."
-- Rick Culpepper to Gil Grissom (The Strip Strangler)

"We'll work the 'Strip Strangler' case in conjunction."
"The what?"
"He strangles them near Las Vegas Boulevard then removes their clothes. Strip Strangler. Why? What do you call him?"
"Unknown Signature Homicide, Metropolitan Las Vegas."
-- Rick Culpepper and Gil Grissom (The Strip Strangler)

"Oh. He's not kidding, is he?"
-- Rick Culpepper to Brian Mobley, about Gil Grissom (The Strip Strangler)

"Now we just have to find the guy and hope that he hasn't done his laundry."
-- Gil Grissom (The Strip Strangler)

"Hey, Gil, you want to give me the skinny on this meeting of yours? I'm on my way back to the crime scene."
"What meeting? I'm going to evidence."
-- Nick Stokes ad Gil Grissom (The Strip Strangler)

"You all got my page. Good."
"I didn't."
"We'll get you a new battery."
-- Rick Culpepper and Gil Grissom (The Strip Strangler)

"You're going to bait this guy with a human being? This is your big FBI plan."
"Before he kills again, yes. Got a better idea?"
"Understanding him first, completely, so that we can get out ahead of him."
"And if he kills again while we're trying to understand him?"
"Well, I'm sorry, but he's not going to kill my CSI."
-- Gil Grissom and Rick Culpepper (The Strip Strangler)

"I'm going to do it, Grissom. I want to."
"You want to put yourself in the path of a psychotic killer?"
"I'm trained in weaponless defense."
"Too bad, because that's what turns him on -- women fighting back. Gives him a greater sense of power when he makes his final kill."
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (The Strip Strangler)

"Signature killers always know their next victim. But they don't know him ... until he tortures, rapes and kills them."
-- Gil Grissom to Sara Sidle (The Strip Strangler)

"All of which I'm sure you'll share with the FBI."
"I'm sure."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (The Strip Strangler)

"Hey ... is it so bad to avail our lab to the resources of the federal government?"
"You've been to talking to our Sheriff."
"I've been listening to our Sheriff. He says that you won't."
"Yeah, yeah, I know. And if I don't shape up he going to have Ecklie take over the case."
"Well, no. He preferred someone from night shift and it may be more than just this case."
"Ah. Now that the trees are gone, I can almost see the forest."
"Gil ... learn to be more politic."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (The Strip Strangler)

"When did you become friendly with the Feds? I didn't think you had that in you."
"Never make an enemy when you can just as easily make a friend. FBI's okay. I've kissed worse ass. But I've got to say I don't like this decoy op the Feds are talking up."
-- Gil Grissom and Jim Brass (The Strip Strangler)

"I told Culpepper that he could not have Sara."
"I know what you told him."
-- Gil Grissom and Jim Brass (The Strip Strangler)

"Sometimes, the hardest thing to do is to do nothing."
-- Gil Grissom to Sara Sidle (The Strip Strangler)

"Occasionally I'm struck by the absence of evidence."
-- Gil Grissom (The Strip Strangler)

"If you stop and think, you'll see it."
-- Gil Grissom to Rick Culpepper (The Strip Strangler)

"Oh, do I get the weekend off?"
"For starters ... and a two-week holiday ... anywhere but CSI. You brought this on yourself. Now, the next time you want to play with my career, maybe you'll think twice."
-- Gil Grissom and Brian Mobley (The Strip Strangler)

"Did you come here to tell me about your new job?"
"I told the Sheriff I'd pass."
"You don't want to be a Supervisor?"
"Well, if I get a promotion, I want it to be on merit ... not because you're politically tone-deaf."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (The Strip Strangler)

"So, our guys are outside in their Tahoes. If you're a civilian, we are. Except we are putting in for overtime."
-- Catherine Willows to Gil Grissom (The Strip Strangler)

"I got to run, peanut. Love you, too. Bye-bye."
-- Nick Stokes to Gil Grissom on the phone (The Strip Strangler)

"Everybody knows white cotton fibers aren't like fingerprints. They can't be traced. You don't get a ... match on a towel."
"In theory. But the truth is every object is changed by its owner. By his habits. His ... washing machine, for instance. His detergent."
"The totality of microscopic elements. It's Locard's Theory."
-- Syd Goggle and Gil Grissom (The Strip Strangler)

"Do we have a breakfast budget, Grissom?"
"I believe Catherine was going to requisition one."
"Good, cause our plates are up, and nobody has any money."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (The Strip Strangler)

"But, uh, you get an 'attaboy'. Three women dead 'cause you couldn't get the job done. There's not many guys who would hand the case over to us Fibbies."
-- Rick Culpepper to Gil Grissom (The Strip Strangler)

"It sure seems that way."
"If only life were that simple."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Burked)

"Lose an earring?"
"Looks like somebody did."
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Burked)

"When did you know this was a homicide and not an O.D.?"
"Initially?"
"Yeah."
"When I saw the TV on."
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Burked)

"Good thing or ... bad thing?"
"It's good if you're us ... Bad if you're Janine Haywood."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Burked)

"Did you try this coffee?"
"Mm-mmm."
"The last cup I had tasted like motor oil."
-- Gil Grissom and Nick Stokes (Burked)

"That's my pot!"
"Your pot?"
"Yeah, you know, from my own private stash. Blue Hawaiian -- $40 a pound. Only grown a couple times a year on the Big Island hand-picked to perfection."
"Good. You're using my water so I guess that makes it community coffee."
-- Greg Sanders and Gil Grissom (Burked)

"It's been 24 minutes, Greg. When's this thing going to be done?"
"Well, with all due respect, sir, it's not a baked potato."
-- Gil Grissom and Greg Sanders (Burked)

"Did I ever tell you I used to live in New York?"
"Is this going to be a short story or a novel?"
-- Greg Sanders and Gil Grissom (Burked)

"... and the point of your New York story was ... ?"
"Oh, I was just going to tell you about another way to take heroin -- a suppository up the coolee. You just stand on your head, and then you let gravity ... forget it."
-- Gil Grissom and Greg Sanders (Burked)

"Is this part of the Sherlock Holmes Fan Club Kit?"
-- Catherine Willows to Gil Grissom (Burked)

"A sable cloud turns forth its silver lining to the night."
-- Gil Grissom quoting John Milton's 'Comus' (Burked)

"What's the matter with your leg?"
"I don't know something must've bit me."
"Mind if I take a look?"
"What are you, a dermatologist?"
"I'm an entomologist, actually. I-I know all about bugs."
-- Gil Grissom and Walt Braun (Burked)

"Whatever rubs your Buddha."
-- Walt Braun to Gil Grissom (Burked)

"Nick, I need your leg. Show me your bite."
"Oh, it's no worries. I got some cream."
-- Gil Grissom and Nick Stokes (Burked)

"Are doggie-door prints and chigger bites enough to get a man for murder?"
-- Nick Stokes to Gil Grissom (Burked)

"It's a quirk. I always like to discuss fingerprints in person."
-- Gil Grissom to Walt Braun (Burked)

"When you're a Braun there's nothing you can't replace."
"You can't replace your brother."
-- Walt Braun and Gil Grissom (Burked)

"Missing persons. First 24 hours are gold after that ..."
"... quicksand."
-- Gil Grissom and Jim Brass (Chaos Theory)

"Excuse me, but could everyone in this room do me a big favor ... and leave?"
-- Gil Grissom (Chaos Theory)

"It's like going to the vet without your dog."
-- Gil Grissom, about how Paige Rycoff left (Chaos Theory)

"People don't vanish, Jim. It's a molecular impossibility."
-- Gil Grissom to Jim Brass (Chaos Theory)

"They have this system in place when you went to school here?"
"With all the stuff me and my boys got away with, it's probably why they have them now."
-- Gil Grissom and Warrick Brown (Chaos Theory)

"Mr. Grissom. What are you doing to find my daughter?"
"I'm thinking."
-- Mrs. Rycoff and Gil Grissom (Chaos Theory)

"You showered."
"Thanks for noticing, Gil, you're very observant."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (Chaos Theory)

"Yeah? Well ... I can't tell what I'm observing here. What does that look like?"
"A five-foot-eleven workaholic."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (Chaos Theory)

"You know, when a tree falls in the forest even if no one's there to hear it, it does, in fact, make a sound."
-- Gil Grissom to Sara Sidle (Chaos Theory)

"Well, this is one way to get her DNA. Bring me her whole life."
"It's called zeal, Greg."
"Or overkill."
"It's called protocol. Let's get on with it."
-- Greg Sanders, Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Chaos Theory)

"Friederich Miescher requests my presence?"
"Figured out my code, huh? Well, you know, my boy Freddy discovered DNA."
"He's been dead a hundred years, Greg. What do you got?"
-- Gil Grissom and Greg Sanders (Chaos Theory)

"Any record?"
"Three D's and a C, nothing criminal."
-- Gil Grissom and Jim Brass (Chaos Theory)

"Some circumstantial evidence is very strong as when you find a trout in the milk."
-- Gil Grissom, quoting Henry David Thoreau (Chaos Theory)

"Still, there's no reason to think there's a connection between the paint transfer and Paige."
"No reason to think there's not."
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Chaos Theory)

"Look, let's stick to the 'how' -- we'll deal with the 'why' later."
-- Gil Grissom to Nick Stokes (Chaos Theory)

"Call Brass."
"Done. An hour ago."
-- Gil Grissom and Nick Stokes (Chaos Theory)

"Where you been?"
"I can't be everywhere, Warrick and they banned human cloning."
-- Warrick Brown and Gil Grissom (Chaos Theory)

"H.L. Mencken once said, 'There's an easy solution to every human problem -- neat, plausible ... and wrong.' So if the solution to our problem is not neat, plausible and wrong; then it could be messy, unlikely and right. Right?"
-- Gil Grissom (Chaos Theory)

"A butterfly flaps its wings in Brazil we get a hurricane of the coast of Florida. Chaos theory."
-- Gil Grissom (Chaos Theory)

"Hi. Could I borrow your trash can?"
-- Gil Grissom to dorm resident (Chaos Theory)

"Mrs. Rycoff there is no one guilty of this."
"Because you say so?"
"Because the evidence says so."
-- Gil Grissom and Mrs. Rycoff (Chaos Theory)

"We told them what happened."
"Yeah, but we didn't give them what they needed-- some closure."
"Truth brings closure."
"Not always."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (Chaos Theory)

"That's a big college racket, like buying books back?"
"Why would anyone want to sell their books?"
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Chaos Theory)

"This is the worst place you can be on a missing persons ... a dead end."
-- Gil Grissom (Chaos Theory)

"Man versus Gravity. Man lost."
-- Gil Grissom (Overload)

"On the day you decide to end your life, why would you go to work?"
-- Gil Grissom (Overload)

"Quick. Name three human bones that can stand a twelve story drop."
"Bones of the inner ear: Malleus, Incus, Stapes. High cellular density, completely protected by the skull."
-- Albert Robbins and Gil Grissom (Overload)

"His body contradicts your crime scene."
"I don't care what the body says, this guy was electrocuted."
-- Albert Robbins and Gil Grissom (Overload)

"Every now and then, we have to break the rules. Start with a conclusion and work our way backwards."
-- Gil Grissom (Overload)

"Robert Harris. Does that name mean anything?"
"Yeah. Especially if you bet against me."
-- Warrick Brown and Gil Grissom (Overload)

"Well, what was that about?"
"Ah, we're in a bowling league together."
-- Brian Mobley and Gil Grissom (Overload)

"You're fishing, Gil."
-- Brian Mobley to Gil Grissom (Overload)

"Tell me about his testicles."
-- Gil Grissom to Albert Robbins (Overload)

"You didn't hear that from me, did you?"
"I think I smell something burning in the DNA lab."
-- Gil Grissom and Greg Sanders (Overload)

"I need to see his testicles."
"I always thought there was something weird about you."
-- Gil Grissom and Randy Gesek (Overload)

"You want his blood?"
"One pint, to go."
-- Warrick Brown and Gil Grissom (Overload)

"Can I have your pickle?"
-- Gil Grissom to Sara Sidle (Overload)

"Oh, that's a nice one."
-- Gil Grissom, about Sara Sidle's pickle (Overload)

"You turned my pickle into a light bulb."
-- Sara Sidle to Gil Grissom (Overload)

"What newspaper article?"
"The one I'm arranging for your public apology."
"I'm not making an apology."
-- Gil Grissom and Brian Mobley (Overload)

"Actions have consequences, Gil. Even yours."
-- Brian Mobley to Gil Grissom (Overload)

"I heard the sheriff chewed you a new one."
-- Jim Brass to Gil Grissom (Overload)

"Gil, why do you do this to yourself?"
"What?"
"The guy's dead. It could have been suicide ... accident. But you've always got to push it."
"Just like any other case."
"You know what I think? Adrenaline. You need the rush. But that's just me."
-- Jim Brass and Gil Grissom (Overload)

"He's guilty."
"Let's not make the same mistake twice."
-- Jim Brass and Gil Grissom (Overload)

"Where's Mandy?"
"She's cross-eyed from running our partial."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (Overload)

"Hey, Griss. I think I can speak for both of us when I say I'm sorry that we let you down."
"We quit before we should have."
"Yeah, you did."
-- Warrick Brown, Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Overload)

"That's why we will continue to work well together."
-- Brian Mobley to Gil Grissom (Overload)

"You look like the Sheriff, but you talk like the Mayor."
-- Gil Grissom to Brian Mobley (Overload)

"I hope that's not the crossword puzzle."
-- Gil Grissom to Greg Sanders (Overload)

"Why are you here? Do I need a lawyer?"
-- Randy Gesek to Gil Grissom (Overload)

"Seems like a lot of work to kill a guy."
"Not for an electrician."
-- Warrick Brown and Gil Grissom (Overload)

"Excuse me, one of my students is dead. Are we interrupting you?"
"Yeah. A little."
-- Principal Perrin and Gil Grissom (Bully for You)

"What were you? A jock or a brain?"
"I was a ghost."
-- Warrick Brown and Gil Grissom (Bully for You)

"I thought it was our job to speak for the victim no matter what it took ... and to hell with the budgets."
"Our job is to think, Warrick. Machinery should never matter more than our mind."
-- Warrick Brown and Gil Grissom (Bully for You)

"Let me guess. Decomp in an enclosed space?"
[...]
"Lemons."
"What?"
"Use lemons."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (Bully for You)

"What's the matter, you don't trust me?"
"I trust you."
-- Warrick Brown and Gil Grissom (Bully for You)

"Wears her dead mother's perfume. Nice touch."
"Might be true. Scent triggers memory more acutely than any of the five senses."
"Yeah? Well, I smell a rat in the Fram family."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Bully for You)

"So why is he saying she did?"
"Do you ever smell a fart and end up blaming the wrong guy?"
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Bully for You)

"I did this for my kids."
"You know, Miss Barrett as difficult as high school can be for kids, eventually, it's over ... but too soon for Barry chickel."
-- Julia Barrett and Gil Grissom (Bully for You)

"No one's blaming you."
"I am."
-- Gil Grissom and Julia Barrett (Bully for You)

"I worked in a slaughterhouse one summer. Looked a lot like this."
-- Jim Brass to Gil Grissom (Scuba Doobie-Doo)

"For all we know, this is animal blood."
"Yeah, sure. Deer, sheep, llama."
-- Gil Grissom and Jim Brass (Scuba Doobie-Doo)

"Victim's human."
"And a human has only eight pints of blood. So, whoever the victim is ... is now dead."
-- Jim Brass and Gil Grissom (Scuba Doobie-Doo)

"Just acquaint yourself, Sara. Don't interpret just yet, okay?"
[...]
"This looks like a multiple. More than one vic. Acquainting myself."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (Scuba Doobie-Doo)

"The blood'll never come out."
"Hopefully not. That's all the evidence we have."
-- Stu Evans and Gil Grissom (Scuba Doobie-Doo)

"Gee, Brass, all in one shift. I'm impressed."
-- Gil Grissom to Jim Brass (Scuba Doobie-Doo)

"This cannot be right."
"Hey, I always double-check your stuff."
-- Gil Grissom and Greg Sanders (Scuba Doobie-Doo)

"I thought you said the blood on those walls couldn't be his."
"I also thought the metric system would catch on."
-- Jim Brass and Gil Grissom (Scuba Doobie-Doo)

"So, you get up in the morning, make coffee and go 'I think I'll blow some blood on the kitchen wall today.' Get out of the shower grab your towel, go 'Hey, this looks like a nice spot to expirate a couple of pints.'"
-- Gil Grissom to Clifford Renteria (Scuba Doobie-Doo)

"So, you made your statement through your nose?"
"I wasn't getting anywhere with words."
-- Gil Grissom and Clifford Renteria (Scuba Doobie-Doo)

"You might want to back up."
-- Clifford Renteria to Gil Grissom (Scuba Doobie-Doo)

"You actually saw him do this?"
"Right through his Jimmy Durante. Ambidextrous, both nostrils."
"Great. Our big murderer's a nosebleed."
-- Warrick Brown, Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (Scuba Doobie-Doo)

"Female blood."
[...]
"Our guy's girlfriend is still missing."
"Two things which may have nothing to do with each other."
"Or everything."
-- Warrick Brown, Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Scuba Doobie-Doo)

"What do you got?"
"Either Paul or John."
"A very important beetle."
"The most important."
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Scuba Doobie-Doo)

"You never get a second chance to make a first impression."
-- Gil Grissom (Scuba Doobie-Doo)

"A square of nine dots on paper and you can only draw four lines to connect them ... without the pen ever leaving the paper."
"Right. Think outside the box."
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Scuba Doobie-Doo)

"Dermestidae Masculatus."
"That's Latin for 'you're hiding a dead body'."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle to Stu Evans (Scuba Doobie-Doo)

"You okay?"
"Ninety-five."
"Excuse me?"
"Normally my pulse is seventy. When it gets to 95, I realize how mad I am. I-I have ten people working around the clock on this thing."
"You're too hard on yourself."
"No, no. I'm not mad at me. There's a body in there and that guy knows where it is!"
"What's your pulse at now?"
"You want to take a walk around the block? Get some air?"
"No."
"Clear your head ..."
"I'm fine."
"Okay."
[Sara reaches up, touches Grissom's face. Grissom is not sure how to take this.]
"Chalk ... from plaster."
"Oh."
[Grissom wipes his cheek and looks at the back of his hand. Then back at Sara.]
"Better go wash up."
[Sara goes back into the appartment, leaving Gil Grissom behind to look at her as she goes.]
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Scuba Doobie-Doo)

"I got a plumber coming on Saturday."
"Well, you know, my Uncle Herb was a plumber. I might be able to help."
-- Stu Evans and Gil Grissom (Scuba Doobie-Doo)

"Listen, you know, I got a guy on retainer. You don't have to do this."
"Yeah, well, I'm non-union."
-- Stu Evans and Gil Grissom (Scuba Doobie-Doo)

"She nagged me."
"She nagged you?"
-- Stu Evans and Gil Grissom (Scuba Doobie-Doo)

"Hey, you want to grab some breakfast?"
"No, thanks."
"Come on ... we always get better service when you're there."
"I'm having breakfast with a friend of mine."
"You're keeping him alive? Sara said you guys already solved the case."
"He did."
-- Sara Sidle, Gil Grissom and Nick Stokes (Scuba Doobie-Doo)

"I don't want to hear any rumors that Paul is dead. He may be the only chance we have of getting in these walls."
-- Gil Grissom to Sara Sidle (Scuba Doobie-Doo)

"You don't have to talk to us. He'll talk to us."
-- Gil Grissom to Benjamin Jennings (Alter Boys)

"You told me to wait for you."
"Well, that hasn't stopped you yet."
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Alter Boys)

"Why would a guy shoot a man three times and then strangle him with his own tie?"
-- Gil Grissom (Alter Boys)

"Look, if you know so much about these murders what do you need me for?"
"Murders? There are more bodies?"
-- Benjamin Jennings and Gil Grissom (Alter Boys)

"Sometimes ... when I leave a crime scene where I've been particularly involved with a dead body, I sit in my car and it hits me -- how close I was ... how heavy the body is ... the texture of the body ... how it feels... you know?"
-- Gil Grissom to Benjamin Jennings (Alter Boys)

"Mr. Grissom ... I'm not a bad person."
"You're not a bad person? Then, what are you?"
-- Benjamin Jennings and Gil Grissom (Alter Boys)

"He needs spiritual guidance."
"Yeah, I imagine he does."
-- Father Powell and Gil Grissom (Alter Boys)

"It's the 11th hour."
[...]
"Eleventh hour?"
"When the reality of their actions set in, they usually turn to religion."
"Can you think of a better time?"
-- Gil Grissom and Father Powell (Alter Boys)

"I don't see your, uh ... visitor's badge."
"Priest's collar. People trust it. Most people. Even ... lapsed catholics."
"What makes you think, uh ... I was ever a catholic?"
"First time we met, you called me 'Father.' Only Romans do that."
-- Gil Grissom and Father Powell (Alter Boys)

"If he has a problem ... it's trying to please people."
"Is that a problem?"
"It can be."
-- Father Powell and Gil Grissom, about Benjamin Jennings (Alter Boys)

"He wouldn't do this."
"I believe the car."
-- Father Powell and Gil Grissom (Alter Boys)

"To whom much is given, much will be expected."
-- Father Powell to Gil Grissom (Alter Boys)

"Bottom line ... he killed them."
"Good work, you guys. Very good. But you haven't proved murder. You've proved burial."
-- Nick Stokes and Gil Grissom (Alter Boys)

"Show me the gun with Ben's prints on it. Gun shot residue, the ligature, the ..."
"... The holes in Christ's hands, Doubting Thomas?"
"Yes. Empirical evidence. St. Thomas was ahead of us all."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (Alter Boys)

"Does this have anything to do with the priest that's been coming around here?"
"No. It has to do with the evidence."
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Alter Boys)

"It's our job to present the D.A. with the best evidence possible. Let a jury decide. Anything else, we're playing judge. The evidence doesn't get any better than this."
-- Nick Stokes to Gil Grissom (Alter Boys)

"What's going on?"
"You know how we pushed him to file on Ben?"
"Yeah."
"We might have been wrong."
-- Sara Sidle and Nick Stokes, about pushing Gil Grissom (Alter Boys)

"Did you learn to throw pizzas in prison, Roger?"
-- Gil Grissom to Roger Jennings (Alter Boys)

"I told you, Ben strangled that guy."
"The flour said you did."
-- Roger Jennings and Gil Grissom (Alter Boys)

"We present this to the D.A."
"Unfortunately, we've had this discussion before."
"The guilty brother's going to walk."
-- Nick Stokes and Gil Grissom (Alter Boys)

"Hey. D.A.'S looking for you."
"About?"
"What, you think I read your messages? 'Top Secret' and 'Urgent'? It's a gift, reading upside down."
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Alter Boys)

"A jury doesn't understand epi-whatevers, okay? They understand a twisty tie and blood all over Ben's car seat."
"He set up his brother."
"Oh, come on, Grissom, they're both part of it and if I can get one of them, I will."
"He's a good kid, Robin. He hero-worships his brother, but he's a good kid."
"Yeah? Then his epithelials shouldn't be on that tie. You'd better check with your lab."
-- Robin Childs and Gil Grissom (Alter Boys)

"I know that we've arrested the wrong brother."
"He came to see you as soon as Ben was in custody."
"I tried to help ... without breaking my vows."
-- Gil Grissom and Father Powell (Alter Boys)

"We both have jobs that begin after the crime."
"After the 'sin'."
"Some people would call that a career in futility."
"Some call it a 'vocation'.
-- Gil Grissom and Father Powell (Alter Boys)

"Hopefully one day, we'll have foolproof means by which to put the right man in jail in this case."
"Someday, we won't need jails."
-- Gil Grissom and Father Powell (Alter Boys)

"You don't believe?"
"In religion? I believe in God, in science ... in Sunday supper. I don't believe in rules that tell me how I should live."
-- Father Powell and Gil Grissom (Alter Boys)

"How many crusades were fought in the name of God? How many people died because of someone's religion?"
"Fanaticism. Not religion."
"Semantics. They're still dead."
-- Gil Grissom and Father Powell (Alter Boys)

"You still suffer like a catholic. Light bulb goes out other people fix it, get a new one. Light bulb goes out for the Catholic he stands in the dark says, 'What did I do wrong?'"
"That guilt's not in me anymore."
-- Father Powel and Gil Grissom (Alter Boys)

"You're going to be getting a call from the local papers about spa safety."
[...]
"So what am I supposed to say?"
"That it was an isolated incident ... that in no way should it be a mark against The Strip's other fine hotel-casinos."
"CSI supports Las Vegas."
"Bottom line."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Alter Boys)

"Question is: Why did the SUV cross the tracks?"
"To get to the other side."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (Caged)

"This one's all yours."
"Thanks, but you got to give me some guys."
"Sara's all you get."
"All I need."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (Caged)

"Aaron Pratt. Librarian. Only other person here when the alarm sounded."
"Did he tell you what he was doing here?"
"Oh, yeah. Watching her."
-- Ray O'Riley and Gil Grissom (Caged)

"I think he's autistic."
"Autistic? You mean like Rain Man?"
"Rain Man was a savant. Extremely rare. Aaron Pratt is a high-functioning autistic man with superior right-brain ability."
"Kind of sounds like you."
-- Gil Grissom and Nick Stokes (Caged)

"I'm thinking about homicide."
"Then you know more than I do."
-- Gil Grissom and Albert Robbins (Caged)

"I don't even know what happened. But what I do know is that these are masterpieces. One of a kind."
"They're evidence in an active criminal investigation -- also one of a kind."
-- Stanley Hunter and Gil Grissom (Caged)

"The good news, Nick? We had a camera in here."
"There's no surveillance system."
"Yeah, there is -- Aaron Pratt. We just have to figure out how to get the film out of his head."
-- Gil Grissom and Nick Stokes (Caged)

"You know that weird guy?"
"He's not weird, O'Riley, he's autistic."
"Whatever."
-- Ray O'Riley and Gil Grissom (Caged)

"But I will wear my heart upon my sleeve / for daws to peck at. I am not what I am."
"Othello, act one, scene one. Line 61 and 62, Iago to Roderigo."
"Very good, Aaron. Now, you want to tell me how Othello ended up in your briefcase?"
-- Gil Grissom and Aaron Pratt (Caged)

"She's eating and he takes her sandwich ... and he puts his hand on her breast. And then he puts his tongue ..."
"Aaron ... I get it."
-- Aaron Pratt and Gil Grissom (Caged)

"Is this guy the real deal?"
"I think he's incapable of deception, Nick. We're just witnessing displaced anxiety. I mean, look around. Everything's in precise order."
"Organized by size."
"Order provides comfort. His life is based on routine. Without it, he can't function."
-- Nick Stokes and Gil Grissom, about Aaron Pratt (Caged)

"You two were involved with each other?"
"Why? Don't you think she would date someone like me?"
"No. You told me Veronica was involved with Mr. Hunter."
"I have a masters in library science and an English Degree from UNLV. And some people like Mr. Hunter, treat me like a freak. But Veronica didn't. She ... loved me. Not him."
-- Gil Grissom and Aaron Pratt (Caged)

"Yet she must die else she betray more men. Put out the light, and then put out the light."
-- Gil Grissom, quoting Othello (Caged)

"I don't touch this book anymore. It doesn't feel right."
"Ever since you killed Veronica."
"I loved Veronica."
"What do you mean, it doesn't feel right?"
-- Aaron Pratt, Ray O'Riley and Gil Grissom (Caged)

"Normally an eyewitness is the least reliable evidence we have. But in this case, it's the most reliable."
-- Gil Grissom, about Aaron Pratt (Caged)

"Tell me what 'Veronica deciding something' looks like."
-- Gil Grissom to Aaron Pratt (Caged)

"I like order."
"Me, too. That's why I was scared."
"Scared?"
"Of Veronica. Of being in love. I was stupid. I thought she loved me."
-- Gil Grissom and Aaron Pratt (Caged)

"Then must you speak of one that loved not wisely ..."
"... but too well."
"Othello, act five, scene two, lines 343 and 344."
"But Othello killed Desdemona."
"I didn't kill Veronica."
"No, you didn't."
-- Aaron Pratt and Gil Grissom (Caged)

"The only person who knows where the crime scene is has her mouthful of sand."
"A thousand square miles of desert in Vegas and this perp dumps the body in a sandbox."
"He didn't put it here to hide it. He put it here to be found."
-- Gil Grissom and Jim Brass (Slaves of Las Vegas)

"To get to the evidence, we may destroy the evidence."
"You get these haikus out of a book or do they just come to you?"
"Every time you find a body, you have to choose a path and when you take that path, Grasshopper, you risk destroying the evidence."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (Slaves of Las Vegas)

"Let me guess -- three police officers looking for respite from having to control and dominate our big, bad city?"
-- Lady Heather to Jim Bras, Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Slaves of Las Vegas)

"Now, would you prefer individual sessions or would you like to enjoy each other's submission?"
-- Lady Heather to Jim Bras, Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Slaves of Las Vegas)

"Never lost one of my girls."
"You don't seem very upset about it."
"What you see and what I feel are two different things."
-- Lady Heather and Gil Grissom (Slaves of Las Vegas)

"And you will be...?"
"I'll be with Lady Heather."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Slaves of Las Vegas)

"Does all this fascinate you?"
"Yes. I find all deviant behavior fascinating in that to understand our human nature we have to understand our aberrations."
-- Lady Heather and Gil Grissom (Slaves of Las Vegas)

"What happens here isn't about violence. It's about challenging preconceived notions of victorian normalcy. Bringing people's fantasies to life. Making them real and acceptable."
"Like the theatre."
-- Lady Heather and Gil Grissom (Slaves of Las Vegas)

"It's people who don't come to places like this that I worry about. The ones who don't have an outlet. Say ... someone like yourself."
"Oh, I have outlets. I read. I study bugs. I sometimes even ride roller coasters."
"And your sex life?"
"It doesn't involve going to the theater."
"In my experience, Mr. Grissom, some men go to the theater ... some men are the theater."
-- Lady Heather and Gil Grissom (Slaves of Las Vegas)

"'No man is a complete mystery except to himself.' Marcel Proust."
"I bet he'd have enjoyed himself here."
-- Gil Grissom and Lady Heather (Slaves of Las Vegas)

"Mona was a Dominatrix at the fetish club. But my guess is that she was a switch for her off-the-books clients."
"You know what a 'switch' is?"
"Someone who's dominant as well as submissive."
"Oh, he's even got the lingo down."
-- Gil Grissom and Greg Sanders (Slaves of Las Vegas)

"You got the yin. I've got the yang."
"Actually, I've got the yang and you've got the yin."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (Slaves of Las Vegas)

"Afternoon tea. How nice."
"I like a bit of civility before dark ... when all the needy little boys show up."
"Well, I'm a little needy myself today."
-- Gil Grissom and Lady Heather (Slaves of Las Vegas)

"You're very good. You could work for me."
"You want to be my boss?"
"You never know. We both might learn something."
"Oh, I'm sure of that."
-- Gil Grissom and Lady Heather (Slaves of Las Vegas)

"I'm that obvious, huh?"
"Only because you try not to be."
-- Gil Grissom and Lady Heather (Slaves of Las Vegas)

"The most telling thing about anyone is what scares them. And I know what you fear more than anything, Mr. Grissom."
"Which is?"
"Being known. You can't accept that I might know what you really desire, because that would mean that I know you. Something, for whatever reason, you spend your entire life making sure no one else does."
"Lady Heather, you're an anthropologist."
-- Lady Heather and Gil Grissom (Slaves of Las Vegas)

"He made her into nothing in order to make her into you."
-- Gil Grissom to Eilene Nelson (Slaves of Las Vegas)

"I just realized that you and I have a very healthy relationship."
"We do?"
"Well, when we have a problem, I don't paint Greg Sanders in latex and stick a straw up his nose."
"Good. He'd probably like it."
"Gil ... you're supposed to say something revealing back to me."
"Okay. I never told anybody this, Catherine ..."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Slaves of Las Vegas)

"That is not a Tijuana boob job. Those puppies are top-of-the-line."
-- Catherine Willows to Gil Grissom (Slaves of Las Vegas)

"Does that one interest you?"
"Yes, it does. May I borrow it?"
-- Lady Heather and Gil Grissom (Slaves of Las Vegas)

"Grains of golden sand."
"What?"
"Edgar Allan Poe. Another man who was familiar with murder."
-- Gil Grissom and Eilene Nelson (Slaves of Las Vegas)

"Small time or not these ladies are dangerous."
"Dangerous, yes. Ladies ... no."
-- Jim Brass and Gil Grissom (And Then There Were None)

"A Harvard Professor conducted an experiment. Asked a bunch of students to watch a basketball game -- count the number of times the ball was passed."
"Yeah, groundbreaking."
"During the game a person dressed in a gorilla suit ran across the court. Afterwards, the professor asked his students if they noticed the gorilla. Fifty percent responded, 'What gorilla?'"
"That's wonderful, Gil. If I see a gorilla, I'll arrest it."
-- Gil Grissom and Jim Brass (And Then There Were None)

"Extraction is an art, Albert."
"I like to think so."
-- Gil Grissom and Albert Robbins (And Then There Were None)

"So ... he was shot in the back by one of his own partners?"
"Someone didn't want to share."
-- Gil Grissom and Albert Robbins (And Then There Were None)

"All the disguises in the world and they dress like women."
"Ski masks are played out."
-- Gil Grissom and Warrick Brown (And Then There Were None)

"Dressed as a woman among men dressed as women. Now, see? That's a disguise."
-- Gil Grissom (And Then There Were None)

"If you're going to badger me about your crime scene location, put it in a memo."
"You don't read memos."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (And Then There Were None)

"Do you remember Tammy Felton?"
"I always remember the ones that get away."
"She's back."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (And Then There Were None)

"And this is a special bullet?"
"No, but there was a foreign substance adhered to it."
"And the substance is special?"
"Not exactly."
"Just get to the point, Greg."
-- Gil Grissom and Greg Sanders (And Then There Were None)

"Bullets confirm the story told by the potato."
"Same gun. Two crimes. One case."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (And Then There Were None)

"What don't you know?"
-- Greg Sanders to Gil Grissom (And Then There Were None)

"Adam, Tammy ... now Darin... all dead."
"And ... we're out of suspects."
-- Nick Stokes and Gil Grissom (And Then There Were None)

"$250,000 turned a career cop bad."
"Yeah, well, he had his price."
"We all do."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (And Then There Were None)

"That's the Ortons' money."
"It's mine now."
-- Jim Brass and Gil Grissom (Ellie)

"Striking resemblance to Judas."
"How's that?"
"Both men lost their lives over a worthless bag of chips."
-- Gil Grissom and Jim Brass (Ellie)

"Hey, Sanders, no punk rock."
"What about black flag?"
"Are you nuts?"
-- Gil Grissom and Greg Sanders (Ellie)

"You're roach racing."
"Actually, I'm giving a tutorial in preserving mass crime scenes. The sideshow is racing these guys."
"Ah."
"I mean, to have a chance to run against legendary roaches like Cocky Balboa; The Drain Lover; Priscilla, Queen of the Gutters. It's huge."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Ellie)

"What do you feed those guys?"
"Dog food."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom, about Grissom's cockroaches (Ellie)

"And who's ... supervising night shift?"
"You are."
"Me? I am on the red-eye to Reno. The Braun Family is opening a new casino. I am Sam's date."
"That's tonight?"
"I told you once, memo'd you twice."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Ellie)

"Acting supervisor? What about Nick? He's got seniority. Or Sara -- she'd jump at the chance."
"If it was about seniority, I'd ask Nick. If I needed someone to stay up for three straight days I'd ask Sara. Instead, I want you."
-- Warrick Brown and Gil Grissom (Ellie)

"Hang on! Have you told Nick and Sara about this?"
"No."
-- Warrick Brown and Gil Grissom (Ellie)

"Hey, Griss. How'd it go?"
"The seminar was fine. Every one of my roaches got stage fright. They came in fourth, third, second and dead last."
-- Warrick Brown and Gil Grissom (Ellie)

"The job is fine. It's the other stuff -- the personalities."
"I love mankind, it's people I can't stand."
"Is that Einstein?"
"Linus."
"Charlie Brown. Figures."
-- Warrick Brown and Gil Grissom (Ellie)

"When I leave CSI, there won't be any cake in the break room. I'll just be gone."
-- Gil Grissom to Warrick Brown (Ellie)

"Why do they think they can fool us?"
-- Gil Grissom to Sara Sidle (Organ Grinder)

"Mr. Fairmont was staying in Murder Central."
"Murder Central?"
"You never heard that phrase?"
[...]
"Sara doesn't know what Murder Central means any more than I do."
-- Gil Grissom, Nick Stokes and Sara Sidle (Organ Grinder)

"I know. The room's talking to us."
-- Sara Sidle to Gil Grissom (Organ Grinder)

"Well, he's either careless or arrogant, maybe."
"Or he has a death wish."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (Organ Grinder)

"Okay, I'll let you guys do the collection."
"Thanks a lot."
-- Gil Grissom and Nick Stokes (Organ Grinder)

"Oh, and Sara? Last hotel room nearest the stairwell -- easy entry and egress for an intruder and if the victim fights back, fifty percent less chance of being heard."
"Rooms only on one side. Murder Central."
"You are so busted."
-- Gil Grissom, Sara Sidle and Nick Stokes (Organ Grinder)

"Any ear-witnesses?"
"The dispatcher says it could've been a woman whispering. Or a very old person, gender indeterminate."
"That's about as good as an eyewitness."
-- Gil Grissom and Jim Brass (Organ Grinder)

"How many organs they take?"
"Eight in under two hours."
"Man, those harvest doctors move, don't they?"
-- Gil Grissom and Albert Robbins (Organ Grinder)

"Don't take this wrong, Dr. Robbins, but ... how do you release a body that's been redressed and dumped in an elevator?"
"I deal with cause of death, which was an aneurysm and therefore, a natural, and based on that his body is released to a mortuary."
"The whole transplant thing didn't raise a flag?"
"I thought I'd raised a flag with the good doctor when I told him I was going to notify the police department but evidently, I mis-communicated again."
"Great."
-- Sara Sidle, Albert Robbins and Gil Grissom (Organ Grinder)

"You're not coming?"
"You found it, you run with it."
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Organ Grinder)

"You want to clue me in?"
"Sara and I were just going out for dinner."
"On the case, Greggo."
-- Gil Grissom and Greg Sanders (Organ Grinder)

"I can't even talk Warrick into splitting a sandwich with me and this guy's willing to give us his kidney?"
"You asked for it."
"Yeah, that's my point. Carl Mercer risks dying sooner to help our investigation but who protects his rights?"
"He has free will."
"Well, so do I. I want to retract our request. I don't think any investigation for the dead is worth hurting the living."
-- Nick Stokes and Gil Grissom (Organ Grinder)

"So ... who was he with?"
"Mrs. Fairmont."
"What? Player was in the hotel cheating with his own wife?"
-- Gil Grissom, Sara Sidle and Nick Stokes (Organ Grinder)

"Yeah ... but what never lies?"
-- Gil Grissom (Organ Grinder)

"Fairmont had three gold crowns. They should've survived the cremation."
"At least partially. Heavy metal, after all."
"His wife ... had them removed at the mortuary. That adds new meaning to the phrase 'gold digger.'"
"Actually, that's how the phrase got started. People used to dig up the bodies to extract the gold."
"Now they just marry them."
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Organ Grinder)

"What's the most important component in a poisoning."
"Poison."
"Patience."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (Organ Grinder)

"Wait. What? So, what, and just let them move on to another state, another husband?"
"It's not always up to us."
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Organ Grinder)

"I know this isn't news to you but sometimes science isn't enough."
"What are we doing? Digging up graves, chasing prints -- if it's no good in court ... if the killers win ..."
"It isn't a competition. We don't win. The courts are like dice. They have no memory. What works one week doesn't work the next."
"I know that. I do. I know that. That's why I'm mad."
"But, see, if you get mad, then they do win."
"You just said ... This is one of your riddles isn't it?"
"One of life's riddles ... But, hey ... the good news? There's no statute of limitation on murder."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (Organ Grinder)

"Well, this is as phony as a chappaquiddick neck brace."
-- Gil Grissom (Organ Grinder)

"The average American hotel room is covered with stains invisible to the naked eye."
"Yeah, but they're not all biological. Some are soda stains, food stains, whiskey stains, you know."
"No matter how clean or expensive the room seems. That why I always travel with nonoxynol nine."
"You sound like you're making a commercial."
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Organ Grinder)

"A girl in a culvert pipe ... at a highway construction site in the middle of an alfalfa field. You got anything to add?"
"Nothing as poetic."
-- Gil Grissom and Jim Brass (You've Got Male)

"Who found the body?"
"Our friend, Flicka."
"Well, there goes that theory."
"What's that?"
"Whoever finds the body is the first suspect."
-- Gil Grissom and Jim Brass (You've Got Male)

"Which one died first?"
"Identical body temps and vitreous humor. Both women died approximately 12 hours ago."
"My Uncle Phil used to say you can't kill two birds with one stone."
-- Gil Grissom and Albert Robbins (You've Got Male)

"A wildflower and a wallflower."
"So, besides time of death, what do our dead flowers have in common?"
-- Albert Robbins and Gil Grissom (You've Got Male)

"Donna is Joan's older sister."
"Well ... we know what they have in common now, don't we?"
"Genetics."
-- Warrick Brown and Gil Grissom (You've Got Male)

"How are you at solving puzzles?"
"You're the puzzle guy."
-- Gil Grissom and Warrick Brown (You've Got Male)

"Sweet and sour pork."
"It smells fresh."
"More sweet and sour."
"Mostly sour."
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (You've Got Male)

"Catalogues, the internet, mail order, takeout ... 1,200 miles on her car. Agoraphobic maybe? Or she just doesn't like people?"
"Ah, that's you talking."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (You've Got Male)

"So, did I solve the case?"
"No, Greg, you didn't. But you've helped."
-- Greg Sanders and Gil Grissom (You've Got Male)

"If she shopped online why'd she place orders over the phone?"
"Need for human contact."
"Without physical contact?"
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (You've Got Male)

"It's easy to wear your heart on your sleeve when you're not looking in his eyes."
-- Sara Sidle to Gil Grissom (You've Got Male)

"Her greek god is in the slam."
-- Gil Grissom, about Donna Marks (You've Got Male)

"So, let me get this straight. I receive a catalog in the mail. I call a toll-free number to place an order and I'm giving my personal credit card information to a "Hello, I'm doing 'time-life'" operator?"
-- Gil Grissom to Warden (You've Got Male)

"I'm sorry, I can't help you."
"I can get a warrant."
"Won't do you much good."
"Why?"
"Mickey Rutledge, aka 'Apollo', was released three days ago."
-- Warden and Gil Grissom (You've Got Male)

"We found your fingerprints on the toilet seat in her bathroom."
"What, are you going to do? Arrest me for flushing a toilet?"
"Well, unfortunately I can't arrest you for lying."
-- Gil Grissom and Mickey Rutledge (You've Got Male)

"Well, we know we have two liars. Do we have a killer?"
-- Gil Grissom (You've Got Male)

"Mr. Willoughby, would you mind if I fingerprint your spigot?"
"No one's ever asked me that before."
-- Gil Grissom and Mr. Willoughby (You've Got Male)

"So, as long as I'm in business, you're in business."
"K'ching."
-- Gil Grissom and Warden (You've Got Male)

"So you got this water from a radiator?"
"Yes."
"Well, it ain't no Rocky Mountain Spring."
-- Greg Sanders and Gil Grissom (You've Got Male)

"Grissom, Catherine briefed us about your birth date."
"Yeah, what's up with that?"
"Coincidence. Make anything more of it gives Millander more power than he deserves."
-- Sara Sidle, Warrick Brown and Gil Grissom (Identity Crisis)

"We work together; he can't outsmart all five of us."
"Yes, he can."
-- Nick Stokes and Gil Grissom (Identity Crisis)

"Dark hair, 12 inches. Female?"
"So another victim ... or an accomplice?"
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Identity Crisis)

"He's telling me he's going to show me both sides."
-- Gil Grissom, about Paul Millander (Identity Crisis)

"Okay, so what's he trying to tell us? That he used to kill women?"
"Maybe just one."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Identity Crisis)

"Grissom, you want to add something to this?"
"Yeah. None of it matters."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Identity Crisis)

"He's using the evidence to tell us a story."
-- Gil Grissom, about Paul Millander (Identity Crisis)

"May I ask you how many speeding tickets you issue a day?"
"Why is it any business of yours?"
"You wrote tickets to three people who ended up dead."
-- Gil Grissom and Officer Kevin Yarnell (Identity Crisis)

"Excuse me, Officer. I'm with the Las Vegas Crime Lab. I need you to arrest a murder suspect."
"Where's the suspect?"
"Judge Mason. His real name is Paul Millander."
-- Gil Grissom and Court Room Officer (Identity Crisis)

"Take a seat now or I'll have you removed from this courtroom and charged with contempt."
-- Paul Millander (as Judge Douglas Mason) to Gil Grissom (Identity Crisis)

"Local police have been out here twice this past year about this man -- Paul Millander, is it? Every time his story's in the paper. I've heard I look like him."
"Identical."
"You've heard of the doppelganger syndrome?"
"That every person is supposed to have an exact double somewhere in the world?"
"Do you believe in it?"
"Never been proved."
-- Paul Millander (as Judge Douglas Mason) and Gil Grissom (Identity Crisis)

"You know, if you keep that up people are going to start calling you crazy."
-- Paul Millander (as Judge Douglas Mason) to Gil Grissom (Identity Crisis)

"Before you go back to Las Vegas why don't you come to dinner. I tell my wife stories about my day and this one she may need to hear in person."
-- Paul Millander (as Judge Douglas Mason) to Gil Grissom (Identity Crisis)

"Do you have your mentholatum?"
"Why, you getting a cold?"
"No. The judge just got sloppy."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (Identity Crisis)

"Can't be too safe out there, can we, Mr. Grissom?"
"No, we can't."
-- Paul Millander (as Judge Douglas Mason) to Gil Grissom. (Identity Crisis)

"You're never going to believe who Judge Mason's fingerprints match. Judge Mason."
-- Catherine Willows to Gil Grissom (Identity Crisis)

"I don't care what the computer says, that guy is Paul Millander."
"Yeah, we know that. How do we prove it?"
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (Identity Crisis)

"I always set an extra place for Paul."
"Your son?"
"My husband. My way of being together."
-- Isabelle Millander and Gil Grissom (Identity Crisis)

"So, Paul Millander killed his sister."
"It's plausible. It's not provable ... yet."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Identity Crisis)

"Paul killed Pauline. But he didn't murder her."
-- Gil Grissom (Identity Crisis)

"So that's what you've been hiding? That your daughter is now your son?"
"Pauline went away and came back a very strange man."
-- Gil Grissom and Isabelle Millander (Identity Crisis)

"Aren't you wondering about your birthday? August 17, 1956."
"No."
"Why I didn't kill you, since you were next?"
"No."
"I've already picked my next victim, if you're curious."
"It doesn't matter, Paul -- you'll be in jail."
-- Paul Millander and Gil Grissom (Identity Crisis)

"He must have got a fake I.D."
"He had my I.D."
-- Jim Brass and Gil Grissom, about Paul Millander (Identity Crisis)

"The guy's pretty shrewd. Every murder comes back to a dead man."
"Greg, if I refer to Millander as smart, it's one thing but I mind if other people do it, okay?"
-- Greg Sanders and Gil Grissom (Identity Crisis)

"So how rich is this guy?"
"Well, he had a million dollars in his checking account."
"Who doesn't?"
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom, about Roy Logan (The Finger)

"And he hasn't said a word to anyone?"
"Nope. That's why we're here."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom, about Roy Logan (The Finger)

"I'm not saying anything without my lawyer."
"You don't have to say anything."
-- Roy Logan and Gil Grissom (The Finger)

"I'm also going to need you to strip."
"What?"
"Vegas."
-- Catherine Willows, Roy Logan and Gil Grissom (The Finger)

"You had no grounds to detain Mr. Logan let alone disrobe him."
"His hands were covered in blood and he had a million dollars in his briefcase."
"It's not a crime to be rich."
-- Paul and Gil Grissom (The Finger)

"Didn't Shakespeare say 'let's kill all the lawyers'?"
"Yeah. Henry VI. Where is he when we need him?"
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (The Finger)

"I'm due at a nursery rhyme recital. Lindsey's going to play the girl in the moon."
"What happen to the man in the moon?"
"He got the mumps."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (The Finger)

"So what do we do now?"
"We wait. Right?"
"Yeah. We don't have a crime yet."
-- Warrick Brown, Nick Stokes and Gil Grissom (The Finger)

"He's a real estate developer. Does he own any other properties?"
"Townhouse off Flamingo. Under the company name, not rented."
"But occupied?"
"I'll get a warrant. See if anybody's missing a finger over there."
-- Gil Grissom and Nick Stokes (The Finger)

"Grissom. Thank god."
-- Gil Grissom, getting Catherine Willows on the phone (The Finger)

"There was a kidnapping."
"I know -- Amanda Freeman. She's dead ... and whoever touched the money probably has glow-in-the-dark paint on their hands."
"You got my clues?"
"Yeah, nicely done. I know just about everything except ... where are you?"
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (The Finger)

"Most killers take their time planning a murder. He took his time covering it up."
-- Gil Grissom, about Roy Logan (The Finger)

"Body Farm; creepy."
"A Body Farm is not creepy. It's a controlled study of situational decomposition. All in all, a very healthy place."
"Tell that to Slim hanging from the tree."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Burden of Proof)

"Well, look. One of your friends."
-- Catherine Willows to Gil Grissom (Burden of Proof)

"It's a carpet beetle. It shouldn't be here."
"Vic seem more like a hardwood floors kind of guy to you?"
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (Burden of Proof)

"David! Get this body out of here now! We got cross contamination!"
-- Gil Grissom to David Phillips (Burden of Proof)

"Man, someone has got to talk to Grissom about this."
"Talk to me about what?"
"You leaving your experiments in our refrigerator."
-- Nick Stokes and Gil Grissom (Burden of Proof)

"I'm going to test for horizontal motion on bloodstains. Vis-a-vis surface textures. Hey, any of you guys got any linoleum at home?"
-- Gil Grissom (Burden of Proof)

"Way to go, Nick. You really told him."
"I told him, he just ... doesn't hear it."
-- Warrick Brown and Nick Stokes, about Gil Grissom (Burden of Proof)

"Aren't you coming?"
"We're excising a wound tract."
"Sounds fascinating."
"It is."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Burden of Proof)

"Sometimes, it's about where the fire isn't."
-- Gil Grissom (Burden of Proof)

"Uh, Grissom ... aren't you going to tell me anything?"
"About?"
"The case, the meat, what you found ...?"
"I'm working it."
"I thought I was working it with you."
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Burden of Proof)

"So, take some photos of the experiment for the D.A. And then ... uh ... get rid of that stuff."
"That meat... the raw meat... me?"
"Yeah."
"How many meals have we shared together?"
"I don't know."
"Take a guess -- over a year working together."
"Thirty."
"I'm a vegetarian. Everyone here knows I'm a vegetarian. I haven't eaten meat since we stayed up that night with that dead pig. It pains me to see ground beef; forget about cleaning it up."
"Okay. Have Nick do it."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (Burden of Proof)

"Sara's not going to be too happy with that experiment in the fridge."
"I'm putting it in the freezer."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Burden of Proof)

"You coming with?"
"I can't. Take Nick."
"Right. Experiment."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Burden of Proof)

"They say the eyes are the window to the soul."
"Yeah, my grandma used to say that all the time."
"In a way, it's true. The aqueous fluid and the vitreous in the human eye allows for an image to be reflected in it."
-- Gil Grissom and Warrick Brown (Burden of Proof)

"I think my popsicles are ready."
-- Gil Grissom, about his experiment (Burden of Proof)

"What are you doing here? Isn't this your day off?"
"On the day you plan to expend a meat bullet? Ahh ... a frozen meat bullet?"
"Yeah, I had to freeze it with a touch of liquid nitrogen."
"Well, I'm ready to watch history."
-- Gil Grissom and Albert Robbins (Burden of Proof)

"Don't you think that little girl's been through enough?"
"What I think and what the evidence proves are possibly two different things."
-- Jim Brass and Gil Grissom (Burden of Proof)

"What is this?"
"It's, uh, just what it says: It's a request for a leave of absence -- six months ... year, maybe."
"Why?"
"I was thinking of checking out the federal government system - FBI ..."
"We have the best lab in the country."
"I need a different work environment."
"What does that mean?"
"One with, um, communication ... respect."
"Everybody here respects you."
"You don't."
"Is this about that hamburger thing?"
"No, Grissom ... this is not about that Hamburger thing. I-I-I don't believe you. How can you reduce everything that I've said to some kind of single quirk? Do you think the problem here is just about me?"
"If you don't sign my leave, I'm going to have to quit."
"Hey, Sara?"
"The Lab needs you here."
"Great."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (Burden of Proof)

"Did you hear the dad copped a plea on the murder and the D.A. expedited it?"
"Voluntary man, first offense. Out on bail. Free in four. No jury was going to convict a father for killing his daughter's abuser."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (Burden of Proof)

"He didn't take pictures of his daughter. He never touched her. He's a loving, devoted father who works hard at his chain of grocery stores to keep her in good schools."
"Except when she's on his boat, right?"
-- Brad Gottleib and Gil Grissom (Burden of Proof)

"Brad, make me a deal."
"I can't."
"What do you mean you can't? You got me four years for murder."
"I can't.
"You can get me something."
"No, he can't. In the State of Nevada, we're all bound by a legal statute. The sexual assault of a minor age 14 and under is a mandatory life sentence with no possibility for parole."
-- Russ Bradley, Brad Gottleib and Gil Grissom (Burden of Proof)

"Tough case, huh?"
"Just give me a straight-ahead murder any day."
"Well, you wouldn't be human if it didn't affect you."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (Burden of Proof)

"I heard about you and ... uh ... Sara."
"Sara, you know, she gets very emotional ... "
"Are you in denial? No, that's ... no, no ... way too analytical. Wow, you got burned bad, huh? Welcome to the club. I got third-degree burns from my marriage. Happens to everybody. Everybody just moves on."
"Good. Let's move on."
"But you have to deal with it. You have to deal with it first. You got to deal with it before it goes away. You are the supervisor. You have responsibilities, and people are making a family around you whether you like it not, whether you give them permission or not. We don't have to go to the Grand Tetons together, just ... every now and then you got to lift your head up out of that microscope."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Burden of Proof)

"I-I-I'd like to get some flowers for a girl. No, no. Not flowers. A plant. A living plant. She likes vegetation. Yeah, that'd be fine. To a Sara Sidle. Deliver it at the CSI division, Las Vegas Police Department the one out on North Trop Boulevard. Yeah, you can bill me at the same place. Gil Grissom. The sentiment? Oh-oh, on the card. Yeah. Um, uh ... have it say ... have it say, uh ... 'From Grissom.'"
-- Gil Grissom, ordering a plant for Sara Sidle (Burden of Proof)

"Hockey, rough game."
"Yeah, it's murder."
-- Jim Brass and Gil Grissom (Primum Non Nocere)

"Two minutes for elbowing. Four minutes for high sticking. Ten minutes, unsportsman-like conduct."
"Boys will be boys."
"Yeah, sounds like these boys went to a fight and a hockey game broke out."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (Primum Non Nocere)

"I've been a baseball fan my whole life."
"Baseball. Well, that figures. All those stats."
"It's a beautiful game."
"Since when are you interested in beauty?"
"Since I met you."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (Primum Non Nocere)

"There are three things in life that people like to stare at. A rippling stream, a fire in a fireplace and a zamboni going round and round."
"Charlie Brown. 'I love a zamboni.'"
"We all do."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (Primum Non Nocere)

"What took you so long?"
"I was watching ice melt."
-- Albert Robbins and Gil Grissom (Primum Non Nocere)

"Competition junkie."
"Aren't we all?"
"Not me, not anymore."
"No? How'd you get to be Chief Medical Examiner?"
-- Albert Robbins and Gil Grissom (Primum Non Nocere)

"So did his death cause his fall or did his fall cause his death?"
-- Gil Grissom (Primum Non Nocere)

"How do men live like this?"
"What's wrong with it?"
"Well, it's a cave with hardwood floors."
"It's clean. Television, couch. What else does a guy need?"
"Well, how about a plant? Anything to makes it a little more ...human."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Primum Non Nocere)

"It's never a good sign when the number of women a guy sleeps with is more than the number of chairs he owns."
"So, what's the ratio here?"
"Well, uh, ballparking it, I'd say ... four women to every one piece of furniture he owns including the TV."
" So... I guess our guy is about three things - pucks, bucks, and ... chicks."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (Primum Non Nocere)

"Well, we still don't know how or why he died."
"Well, we know how he lived."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (Primum Non Nocere)

"Say goodbye to Greg."
"Bye, Greg."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (Primum Non Nocere)

"There are semen stains everywhere. Not very Victoria Secret."
"What is Victoria's Secret, I wonder?"
"Beauty, Grissom. Remember?"
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Primum Non Nocere)

"So, the game had nothing to do with it? It was the heart?"
"Not necessarily. You know the quinine I found in his system? Lethal for someone with W.P.W. [Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrome] Big scars didn't do him in. It was the little scar."
"Someone still gets an assist."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (Primum Non Nocere)

"We were in the sack. Right in the middle of it. Next thing I know, he stopped ... how do I say this? He stopped ..."
"... 'Doing it'."
"Yes. Thank you."
-- Jane Gallagher and Gil Grissom (Primum Non Nocere)

"You killed the wrong guy."
-- Gil Grissom to Ron Stockwell (Primum Non Nocere)

"Wherever you live is your temple, if you treat it like one."
"State your source."
"Buddha."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (Felonious Monk)

"Guy in the robe flagged down an officer."
"'Guy in the robe' is a monk, Nick."
-- Nick Stokes and Gil Grissom (Felonious Monk)

"They were praying."
"Yeah, for mercy."
"For whoever was shooting them."
-- Gil Grissom and Nick Stokes (Felonious Monk)

"The past ... is in the past."
"True. But sometimes, it leaves its fingerprints on the future."
-- Ananda and Gil Grissom (Felonious Monk)

"Sara and I found prints off the rifle."
"And?"
"Well, I'll give you a hint. He's bald, he wears a robe and he likes his coeds bodacious."
"One survivor, one suspect."
"And a whole lot of bad karma."
-- Nick Stokes and Gil Grissom (Felonious Monk)

"Anticipating your next question, the rifle's not registered."
"Well, Nevada doesn't require rifle registration. What's my next question?"
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Felonious Monk)

"So we're looking at a Warhol."
"Hmm?"
"Well, it's not a real soup can. It's a painting of a soup can."
-- Gil Grissom and Nick Stokes (Felonious Monk)

"Excuse me, sir? I'm sorry to interrupt."
"David, stop calling me 'sir.'"
-- David Phillips and Gil Grissom (Felonious Monk)

"My dad's a Colonel out at Nellis. Grissom's requested a meeting."
"Why?"
"I'm enlisting."
-- David Phillips, Nick Stokes and Gil Grissom (Felonious Monk)

"Now, why would I go to a Buddhist Temple?"
"Probably not looking for salvation."
-- Peter Hutchins, Sr. and Gil Grissom (Felonious Monk)

"If you see the Buddha on the side of the road, kill him."
"Because the true Buddha is inside of us so that is the false Buddha or a tired monk who doesn't drive because he can't control his anger."
"Climb in, I'll give you a lift."
-- Gil Grissom and Ananda (Felonious Monk)

"You know my religion better than I know your science."
-- Ananda to Gil Grissom (Felonious Monk)

"How come you don't leave your cell phone on?"
"We're in a temple, O'Riley."
-- Ray O'Riley and Gil Grissom (Felonious Monk)

"Why didn't you tell us about Mr. Suddahara before?"
"Because a man steals doesn't mean he also kills."
-- Gil Grissom and Ananda (Felonious Monk)

"I'm curious about one thing, though. Why did you shoot them all in their sixth chakra?"
"I shot them between the eyes."
-- Gil Grissom and David Suddahara (Felonious Monk)

"They do their job and then we do ours."
-- Gil Grissom about the rescue workers (Chasing The Bus)

"Hey. Got here as soon as I could."
"Whoa, what are you doing here, Greg?"
"All hands on deck. That was the call, right? Crims on the scene."
"Crims with 'field training'."
"Come on. I'm capable."
"He does no collection."
-- Greg Sanders, Nick Stokes and Gil Grissom (Chasing The Bus)

"Newton's third law: 'For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.' Tire to rim. Rim to axle. Axle to suspension. Suspension to frame. And the lower radius rod arm ... which connects the axle to the frame."
"Not anymore."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (Chasing The Bus)

"Firefighters only look in the obvious spots."
"Just out of curiosity, what are the unobvious spots?"
"For bodies?"
"Yeah."
"Walls, hot water heaters stuffed in the box spring of a hotel room bed. I found a head in a bucket of paint once."
-- Gil Grissom and Greg Sanders (Chasing The Bus)

"I'm afraid our ex-con just got the death penalty."
-- Gil Grissom, finding the ex-con dead (Chasing The Bus)

"Did you enjoy being in the field?"
"You heard about it, too?"
"What?"
"That I ... messed up."
"No."
"Well, then ... I enjoyed it fine."
-- Gil Grissom and Greg Sanders (Chasing The Bus)

"Man, there could be a million reasons."
"Well, fortunately, we're just looking for one."
-- Nick Stokes and Gil Grissom (Chasing The Bus)

"Newton's Third ... with a twist."
-- Gil Grissom about what caused the accident (Chasing The Bus)

"We need a treadmill -- a big one."
"All right, to do what?"
"Exercise a bus."
-- Gil Grissom and Nick Stokes (Chasing The Bus)

"Julius Caesar, murdered in 44 B.C. Legend has it that the molecules from his last breath spread all over the world. probably like your fingerprints, right? They're everywhere."
-- Gil Grissom to Sean Nolan (Chasing The Bus)

"Whoa. Is that a pickle in your pocket or are you just happy to see us?"
-- Gil Grissom to Sean Nolan (Chasing The Bus)

"So, how did he get in?"
"A better question -- how'd he get out?"
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Stalker)

"Aluminum foil."
"Keeps the sunlight out."
"Keeps the eyeballs out, too."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (Stalker)

"This could be a lot of things."
"You'll figure it out."
-- Warrick Brown and Gil Grissom (Stalker)

"You don't believe me, do you?"
"Mr. Pearson, I'm a scientist."
"And I am a clairvoyant. You see science without abstractions. I see visions with abstractions."
-- Morris Pearson and Gil Grissom (Stalker)

"Pick a number between two and five and indicate it with your fingers."
"Why?"
"Please humor me."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (Stalker)

"Damn it. Grissom, this guy was right there. I could have had him."
"You helped out Nick. That was the right thing to do."
"Doesn't feel like the right thing."
-- Warrick Brown and Gil Grissom (Stalker)

"Now what?"
"Dinner and a movie?"
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Stalker)

"Why me?"
"I don't think it was about you, Nick. Or Jane Galloway, for that matter. I think it was more about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. His premise is that social beings strive to belong. In Nigel's mind, Jane Galloway was someone he could control which was okay for a while but you ... you were someone he could actually become. See, Maslow's Fifth Tier of the Hierarchy is Self-Actualization."
-- Nick Stokes and Gil Grissom (Stalker)

"One thing about my mother even though she was deaf, she was always the boss."
-- Gil Grissom to Catherine Willows (Cats in the Cradle)

"Male cat urine ... to us, smelly. To a female cat, it must be like aftershave."
"Me-ow."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (Cats in the Cradle)

"This woman was stabbed. I guess the cats are off the hook."
-- Gil Grissom (Cats in the Cradle)

"You got to be careful with isolation. It can escalate. Before you know it, you're the crazy cat lady living in the rundown house. People stop coming by to visit. You go outside, your neighbors run across the street to get away from you. Eventually, you stop going out altogether."
-- Gil Grissom (Cats in the Cradle)

"You know, house cats have only been domesticated for 4,000 years. They still have predatory instincts."
"Only 4,000?"
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (Cats in the Cradle)

"Don't you have a secret to share with me now?"
"Oh, uh, Mrs. Stein? She hates cats."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (Cats in the Cradle)

"You know, according to Mark Twain the most striking difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives."
-- Gil Grissom (Cats in the Cradle)

"I could have been a rock star."
"There's still time, Greg."
-- Greg Sanders and Gil Grissom (Cats in the Cradle)

"Yeah, I'm like a sponge. I just absorb information."
"I thought that was my line."
"Yeah, and I absorbed it."
-- Greg Sanders and Gil Grissom (Cats in the Cradle)

"You were off the hook"
"Until you let him die."
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom to Ben Weston (Anatomy of a Lye)

"Killer doused the body in lye."
"Must have thought it would destroy the body."
"Yeah, ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Without the wait."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (Anatomy of a Lye)

"Good. We got a bus to catch."
-- Gil Grissom to Sara Sidle (Anatomy of a Lye)

"You've, uh, already shared this information with Sara?"
"Yeah, an hour ago. And she was way more fascinated than you are."
"Well, I'm somewhat fascinated by the fact that I'm your boss, but you talked to her first."
"Well, you were at dinner."
"I've been in the lab all day, Greg."
-- Gil Grissom and Greg Sanders (Anatomy of a Lye)

"I've been looking for you."
"Well, it's hard to see me if you and Greg are out ahead of me."
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Anatomy of a Lye)

"I studied my ass off in law school. Passed the bar first time."
"Good for you. Let me guess -- criminal defense?"
-- Ben Weston and Gil Grissom (Anatomy of a Lye)

"So where is the vehicle now?"
"Look around."
"You work fast."
"Hey, I called it in. What more do you want?"
"Aristotle said something about the whole being more than the sum of its parts. Of course, he never worked in a chop shop. We want all of the parts."
-- Sara Sidle, Mitchell Sullivan, Jim Brass and Gil Grissom (Anatomy of a Lye)

"Well, you do know how to light up a room."
-- Gil Grissom to Sara Sidle (Anatomy of a Lye)

"So Greg said you guys are processing an S-Class."
"Yeah, what's left of it."
"Now, that's a crime. Oh, this would have broken my ex's heart. Every weekend the guy'd be test-driving another Mercedes. I'd get myself all dressed up make the dealer believe we could actually afford it. Damn."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Anatomy of a Lye)

"Except if the car was stolen the ignition lock would be punched, right?"
[...]
"We ... we would have caught that."
"We were distracted by what we were looking for."
"Yeah."
-- Catherine Willows, Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Anatomy of a Lye)

"So how did the thief turn the engine over without breaking that lock?"
"Maybe there is no thief."
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Anatomy of a Lye)

"Look, I'm filing a complaint with your supervisor. You're harassing me."
"If you're a lawyer, you should know the legal definition of harassment. Investigating a crime doesn't quite fit the criteria. However, a false accusation of harassment within earshot of my colleagues could be construed as slander. I know the law, too and I've actually been in a courtroom."
-- Ben Weston and Gil Grissom (Anatomy of a Lye)

"So, my maggot was stunted?"
"Probably by frozen air."
"Yeah, but we found the vic in the desert."
"Well, maybe it was a very cold night. Mucho frio."
"Muchas gracias."
-- Nick Stokes and Gil Grissom (Anatomy of a Lye)

"This is Ecklie's Mercedes?"
"Well, actually, I sold it to him five years ago. It was in much better condition back then."
-- Albert Robbins and Gil Grissom (Anatomy of a Lye)

"There's only one interpretation for this: 'Kill the pig.'"
-- Gil Grissom, about Chief Rittle's murder (Cross Jurisdictions)

"Take Warrick. I don't think he's ever been to Florida."
-- Gil Grissom to Catherine Willows (Cross Jurisdictions)

"The guy has B.O.?"
"Body odor, bad breath ..."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Cross Jurisdictions)

"Tuberculosis victims emit breath that smells like wet leaves."
"Maple, elm, ash, what?"
"I'm not sure."
-- Albert Robbins and Gil Grissom (Cross Jurisdictions)

"Miami is pulling cars out of canals -- chasing leads, debriefing the kid -- and you guys are flipping through textbooks?"
"This is how I work."
-- Jim Brass and Gil Grissom (Cross Jurisdictions)

"I'm following my nosino."
-- Gil Grissom (Cross Jurisdictions)

"Did he ever drink anything sweeter like whiskey or cognac?"
"No, Are you kidding me? With him it was all dom, all the time."
-- Gil Grissom and Tiffany Langer (Cross Jurisdictions)

"Nice tan."
-- Gil Grissom to Catherine Willows (Cross Jurisdictions)

"Nice suit."
"Yeah, well, I knew you were coming back today, so I dressed up."
"Yeah. Right."
"Really."
"What?"
"Nothing. It's just ... unusual to see you dressed like that."
"I had to go to the Chief's funeral."
"Missed me that much, huh?"
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom (Cross Jurisdictions)

"I think she just ratted herself out."
-- Gil Grissom (The Hunger Artist)

"Heard about the rat. Hope he didn't have any children. Take a look at these tiny puncture wounds in her forehead. Indicates repeated injections. You sure she's homeless?"
"Sometimes I'm not sure of anything."
-- Albert Robbins and Gil Grissom (The Hunger Artist)

"Amazing the advances we make in science and the primitive uses we find for them."
-- Gil Grissom (The Hunger Artist)

"Somebody wanted her dead."
"They also wanted her ugly."
-- Catherine Willows and Gil Grissom about Asleigh James (The Hunger Artist)

"Well, Narcissus would be proud."
-- Gil Grissom (The Hunger Artist)

"Enema. The secret life of women."
"Don't generalize. It's not very scientific of you."
"You're right. I'm sorry."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (The Hunger Artist)

"What are you doing here?"
"Contextualizing. Shopping cart in the lab is like a lion in a zoo. I needed to see it in its natural habitat."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (The Hunger Artist)

"She was under her own billboard."
"Coincidence?"
"Somebody was making a point."
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (The Hunger Artist)

"Aren't you putting the shopping cart before the horse?"
-- Gil Grissom to Sara Sidle (The Hunger Artist)

"I have a feeling whoever owned this cart ... was an Ashleigh James fan."
"Or a fanatic."
-- Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle (The Hunger Artist)

"I got crabs."
"Excuse me?"
"I got crabs. Take a look."
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (The Hunger Artist)

"I've got a gal named Sara, and she would love that scarf."
-- Gil Grissom to Tookie (The Hunger Artist)

"Hey. Hey, hey, Mister. Hey, Mister, that is Tookie's scarf. That is his scarf. I gave it to him. That is Tookie's. Are you a Taker ... or are you a Giver, Mister?"
"I'm a Trader. I traded Tookie my jacket for this scarf."
"Yeah ... and fleas can tell time."
"I think fleas can tell time."
-- Cassie James and Gil Grissom (The Hunger Artist)

"Now I can see what the dark looks like."
"I've been trying to do that for years."
-- Cassie James and Gil Grissom (The Hunger Artist)

"Yeah, you know, you-you have to be careful, you know 'cause what goes down, you know it's got to come out. It's got to come up. Out."
"Newton's theory twisted again."
"Everybody's twisted."
-- Cassie James and Gil Grissom (The Hunger Artist)

"How about your sister?"
"My-my sister didn't have a sister."
-- Gil Grissom and Cassie James (The Hunger Artist)

"Hey, Cassie, you know that scarf you gave Tookie?"
"Yeah, I know it."
"Did your sister give that to you or ... did you steal it from her?"
"I should have stole it. Because sh-sh-she stole from me."
"What did she steal from you?"
"My life."
-- Gil Grissom and Cassie James (The Hunger Artist)

"It's like a crossword puzzle, isn't it? Once you pick it up, you can't put it down."
-- Gil Grissom to Sara Sidle (The Hunger Artist)

"She's a needle freak. She doesn't know what she's talking about."
"Yes, she does."
-- Jim Brass and Gil grissom about Cassie James (The Hunger Artist)

"So she didn't just die. She's been dying for a long time."
-- Gil Grissom about Ashleigh James (The Hunger Artist)

"All animals prefer symmetry in their mates. The male Japanese scorpion flies with the most symmetrical wings gets the most mates."
"So, really we're not talking about being beautiful at all."
"In terms of entomology being beautiful is about being even. It signals the fitness to procreate."
-- Gil Grissom and Warrick Brown (The Hunger Artist)

"So the victim and the killer became one and the same. The very nature of addiction -- whether it be self-medicating herself or self-mutilating -- is that the very behavior we use to survive it becomes a behavior that ends up killing us."
-- Gil Grissom (The Hunger Artist)

"[...] you never know what you need until you find it."
"Or until you lose it."
-- Cassie James and Gil Grissom (The Hunger Artist)

"You never know what you need until you find it. And the next thing I find it might be the thing that changes everything."
"What will you do when you find it?"
"Sleep ... the most perfect sleep."
-- Cassie James and Gil Grissom (The Hunger Artist)

"Obviously most of crime scene investigation is about seeing. But much of it is about hearing as well. Listening. Knowing how to listen. Not just to what people are saying but how they say it ... how their tone of voice matches their facial expressions or body posture. So, even if I read lips and know what they're saying ... it's not enough."
-- Gil Grissom (The Hunger Artist)

"We're both scientists, Mr. Grissom, so let me tell you the science. You've got otosclerosis. Basically, this means a bony growth has begun to form around the base of the stapes. What this does is prevent the stapes from moving and passing vibrations to the inner ear effectively neutralizing sound waves."
"It's hereditary -- my mother."
"Most doctors think so. But there's no way to know when it's going to show up and there's no way to reverse it once it does."
"Right. How long do you think?"
"I don't have that answer."
-- Doctor and Gil Grissom (The Hunger Artist)

And how does an entymologist feel about putting ants to death?
I view them as martyrs in a scientist's holy war.
-- Albert Robbins and Gil Grissom (Snuff)

"All work and no play makes Greg a dull boy."
"All play and no work makes Greg an unemployed boy."
-- Greg Sanders and Gil Grissom (Random Acts of Violence)

[at Lady Heather's front door]
"May we come in?"
"Say the magic word."
"Warrant."
[Submitted by Ray]
-- Gil Grissom, Lady Heather, and Jim Brass (Lady Heather's Box)

"Freud said that the only unusual sexual behavior was not to have any at all. After that, it was only a matter of opportunity and preference. Some people obviously prefer the feel of fur to the texture of human skin."
"Well, I like a hairy chest, but that doesn't mean I'm going to go bop a six-foot weasel."
-- Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows (Fur and Loathing)

"When exactly did war become a party?"
-- Gil Grissom (Viva Las Vegas)

"So I had some time to think while I was away. Enough time to figure out why I made such a stupid mistake. I-I do not have a drinking problem. I have a, uh, me problem. My P.E.A.P. Counselor suggested that it would be a good idea for me to talk to my supervisor and that's you, Grissom, so ... I never told you about my family. I never told anyone about my family, why would I ..."
-- Sara Sidle, practicing her speech to Gil Grissom (Viva Las Vegas)

"Pleased to meet you, sir. I'm a fan."
-- Chandra Moore to Gil Grissom (Viva Las Vegas)

"You're hot."
"I-I'm sorry?"
"You're emanating heat."
-- Gil Grissom and Chandra Moore (Viva Las Vegas)

Did you get her blood yet?"
"My... why?"
"So many reasons."
-- Gil Grissom and Chandra Moore (Viva Las Vegas)

"Grissom! You can't possibly call that thing my office. It's a cupboard."
-- Catherine Willows to Gil Grissom (Viva Las Vegas)

"Can I talk to you real quick?"
"Certainly. Have you been seeing your P.E.A.P. Counselor?"
"Yeah."
"How's it going?"
"Well, it's been interesting. It's going to be a busy night, huh?"
"Mmm."
"We'll talk later."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, yeah."
-- Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom (Viva Las Vegas)

"Hey, Gil. Wait. You've got something stuck to your shoe... Oh, no, it's just Sanders."
-- Jim Brass to Gil Grissom, about Greg Sanders (Viva Las Vegas)

"This is your proficiency test, Greg. You might want to work the scene."
-- Gil Grissom to Greg Sanders (Viva Las Vegas)

"What do you see?"
"Chaos."
-- Gil Grissom and Greg Sanders (Viva Las Vegas)

"Where are you going?"
"Don't worry about me; worry about you. It's going to be a long night."
-- Greg Sanders and Gil Grissom (Viva Las Vegas)

"What's this blue stuff on the slide and the grip? It's okay to say you don't know, Greg. That's why we have a trace lab."
-- Gil Grissom to Greg Sanders (Viva Las Vegas)

"You get this address off a pill bottle?"
"Herpes."
"Huh?"
"There was a prescription for valacyclovin. I cross-referenced the pharmacy logo."
-- Jim Brass and Gil Grissom (Viva Las Vegas)

"Bring me the head of John the Baptist. Salome -- wanted proof that he was dead. They didn't have Polaroids back then."
-- Gil Grissom, quoting from the bible (Matthew 14:8 & Mark 6:24-25) (Viva Las Vegas)

"So, you like her?"
"I like not being her anymore."
-- Gil Grissom and Greg Sanders about Chandra Moore (Viva Las Vegas)

"I can tell you the toilets in the club had blue water."
"You inspected the toilet bowls for evidence?"
"Well, when you got to go, you got to go."
[...]
"At a crime scene, Greg?"
-- Greg Sanders and Gil Grissom (Viva Las Vegas)

"So the shooter stuck the gun in the toilet earlier to avoid the metal detector."
"Echoes of Michael Corleone."
-- Greg Sanders and Gil Grissom (Viva Las Vegas)

"The way I saw it, I had two choices: Either kill him or go to jail."
"Congratulations. You got both."
-- Chrystal and Gil Grissom (Viva Las Vegas)

"You committed a fatal error, Greg. You compromised evidence at a crime scene. A judgment like that can cost us a conviction. In order to solo in the field, you have to successfully complete three proficiencies."
"I failed this one."
"Yeah. But ... Since you found a suitable replacement in the lab, I'm going to give you one more chance."
"Thank you. Thank you."
-- Gil Grissom and Greg Sanders (Viva Las Vegas)

"I can barely move in this dress and we haven't cleared the bathroom yet, so there it is. Don't worry, I'm wearing underwear. As far as you know."
-- Sophia Curtis to Gil Grissom (Formalities)

What are you doin'?
I've been lookin' at video three days solid now. My butt fell asleep.
-- Gil Grissom and Archie Johnson (Time of Your Death)

Well, call me Ismael.
Why?
You need to read more, Arch.
-- Gil Grissom and Archie Johnson (Time of Your Death)

Mick Sherdian the movie producer? I grew up watchin’ his action blockbusters--- car chases, ninjas, cyborg death machines. We used to make body armor out of tinfoil, and re-enact the scenes all over the neighborhood. What about you, where you a Green Beret kid? Secret agent?
I'm not tellin'. And stay away from my tinfoil.
-- Greg Sanders and Gil Grissom (Time of Your Death)

Who wouldn't help a hot girl in distress?
Some guys are intimidated by beauty. They fear rejection.
-- Nick Stokes and Gil Grissom (Time of Your Death)

Gil Grissom

Viggorrah — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 15:31:29 CDT

Graveyard Shift Supervisor

Gil Grissom is the supervisor of the Graveyard Shift at the Las Vegas Crime Lab. He practically single-handedly moved the Las Vegas Crime Lab from #14 in the country to #2 on the national Crime Lab charts.

-o-O-o-

Information from: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gil_Grissom

Gilbert "Gil" Grissom, Ph.D. (born August 17, 1956) is a fictional character featured on the TV crime drama CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. Grissom is played by William Petersen, who is also one of the show's producers. Grissom is the night-shift supervisor of the Clark County, Nevada CSI (forensics) team, investigating many cases in and around the city of Las Vegas. He is a forensic entomologist who earned his degree in biology from UCLA. He has a wide and varied knowledge of insects and entomology, which he applies to his investigations. This has led to his nickname, "The Bug Man". When asked why he is a CSI, he responds, "Because the dead can't speak for themselves." This is one of his favorite quotes and he uses it frequently (episode 703, "Toe Tags").

Character

His dispassionate demeanor and high intellect often work to his advantage in his job and in his personal life. However, his avoidance of job politics (and paperwork) often alienates his superiors (and sometimes his subordinates), and right-hand woman Catherine Willows occasionally has to prod him to perform such menial tasks as employee evaluations (episode 122, "Evaluation Day"). Grissom is rarely disturbed by the various subcultures with which his job brings him into contact. He hates abusive husbands, child predators, and drug dealers who "deal death to kids." He is also the least trigger-happy CSI, rarely drawing his firearm, a tendency that has brought about several scoldings from friend and cop Jim Brass. Despite this, he is an excellent marksman as seen in episode 402, "All For Our Country," when he demonstrates exceptional accuracy at the firing range. Grissom's hobbies include his work, cockroach racing, reading, solving crossword puzzles, and riding roller coasters (episode 122, "Evaluation Day"). Grissom keeps a variety of specimens in his office, including a radiated fetal pig and a tarantula. He also has a fish-shaped bulletin board on which unsolved cases go ("the ones that got away") (episode 106, "Who Are You?"). In keeping with the fish theme, he has a Big Mouth Billy Bass over the door to his office, claiming that it's "better than a watchdog." He also occasionally keeps evidence from closed cases (such as the models created by "The Miniature Killer"). CSI newcomer Michael Keppler expresses interest while examining these miniatures when he first comes to the lab in episode 712, "Sweet Jane." Grissom has a more than passing similarity to Sherlock Holmes. Like Holmes, Grissom is dispassionate with a fierce devotion to logic and little regard for societal norms of behavior (Grissom once smashed mustard jars in a grocery store to illustrate a theory (episode 111, "I-15 Murders"); similarly, Holmes once practiced spearing a pig at a market to determine how strong a man would have to be to transfix a man with a harpoon). He possesses a Moriarty-like nemesis, Paul Millander, whom he pursues in several episodes (episodes 100, "Pilot"; 108, "Anonymous"; 213, "Identity Crisis"), as well as a woman in whom he has taken an unusual interest, Lady Heather, who is a parallel to Irene Adler (episodes 208, "Slaves of Las Vegas"; 315, "Lady Heather's Box"; 615, "Pirates of the Third Reich"). Grissom often offers quotes from a variety of literary sources, particularly Shakespeare. He also works 'advanced' crossword puzzles and listens to loud classical music and opera in his office, especially when he wants to think. In 2007, Grissom took a sabbatical to teach a class at Williams College in Williamstown, Massachusetts for four weeks (episode 711, "Leaving Las Vegas"). Prior to his sabbatical, Grissom had been showing signs of "burnout". Upon his return, however, (episode 715, "Law of Gravity") he appears reinvigorated and tells Warrick Brown that he "missed Las Vegas."

Background

Little is known about Grissom's past or personal life. He grew up in Marina Del Rey, California. His father, who was in the importing/exporting business (in the season 6 episode "Still Life", Grissom tells Catherine Willows his father was a botanist), died when he was nine years old, most likely from heat stroke. His mother ran an art gallery in Venice. In "Ellie", he tells Warrick that in high school, he was a "ghost." He was raised Roman Catholic, but has said, "That guilt's not a part of my life anymore." Also when speaking with a priest who heard the confession of a murderer he said "I believe in science, and I believe in God, but I don't believe in someone telling me how to live my life." In the season seven episode "Double-Cross," he tells Sara Sidle that, while he isn't really a Catholic anymore, he is a sort of "secular Catholic" who infuses his work with more meaning than it might otherwise have. He also continues to believe in God, as he tells her he believes both science and faith are necessary. He keeps his mother's rosary beads in a box in his office. Grissom's mother is deaf; because of this, he knows sign language (episode 120, "Sounds of Silence"). He has inherited his mother's otosclerosis, a disease which was causing him to slowly go deaf, but he underwent corrective surgery (episode 323, "Inside the Box"). His hearing loss is most evident in episodes such as episode 202, "Chaos Theory".

Personal life

In so much as Grissom confides to anyone, he confides in Catherine Willows. He once likened her to being his "wife" though the two have never been more than very good friends. Grissom has also been involved with forensic anthropologist Terri Miller (Pamela Gidley) (episode 114, "To Halve and to Hold") and S&M parlor operator Lady Heather. He has supported Warrick Brown through several brushes with the law and has a fatherly bond with Nick Stokes and, later on, Greg Sanders. He also shares a good friendship with Dr. Al Robbins. Of all of his fellow investigators, he is most similar to Sara Sidle. Both are self-described "science nerds" (episode 110, Sex, Lies and Larvae) and are the most socially awkward members of the team. While at times both have expressed more than a hint of interest in the other romantically, it is not until the sixth season finale that they are definitely shown to be involved. In seventh season episodes, he continues to be involved with Sara Sidle, but is keeping the relationship a secret from others in the lab, probably because of the repercussions it could have for both their careers. In the episode "Fallen Idols," Grissom says that he trusts Sara intimately. Most people call Grissom by his last name, though Catherine Willows, Jim Brass, Dr. Al Robbins, and Conrad Ecklie sometimes address him as "Gil," and Warrick Brown uses the shortened form "Griss." Also, in the 14th episode of season 7, Nick Stokes calls him "Griss". On a few occasions, Grissom has been known by the nickname "Bugman".

Other significant events

A package is delivered to Grissom's desk at the end of episode 711 ("Leaving Las Vegas"), after he had already left for his sabbatical. It waits there with his accumulating mail until he finally returns a month later and opens it (episode 716, "Monster in the Box"). He is shocked to discover a perfect scale miniature of the scene of a crime - one that has not happened yet. He and the rest of his team had thought that they had caught the so-called Miniature Killer (episode 702, "Built to Kill, Part 2;" episode 707, "Post Mortem"). They are left with no real leads and far more questions than answers.

Trivia

The character was originally intended to be named Gil Scheinbaum. According to William Petersen, interviewed for UK TV channel Five US, Petersen was considered 'insufficiently Jewish' by series creator Anthony E. Zuiker for the name and the character was renamed for astronaut Gus Grissom.[citation needed]

Despite the Grissom character being from the West Coast, he has a somewhat noticeable Chicago accent. For instance, he pronounces "Nevada" as IPA: [nəˈvɑdə]. (Petersen is from the Chicago area.)

Grissom has extensive knowledge about entomology. The character of Will Graham whom William Petersen played in the film Manhunter (based upon the Thomas Harris novel Red Dragon), wrote "the standard monograph on determining time of death by insect activity".

Grissom is based loosely on real life Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department criminalist Daniel Holstein.

At the start of season seven, Grissom shaves his beard for the first time in three seasons, but he has the beard again upon return from his sabbatical. However, Sara Sidle shaves Grissom in the end of the episode "Fallen Idols" (season 7 ep. 17)

His health issues not only consists of the otosclerosis (for which he undergoes corrective surgery in episode 323 "Inside the Box"), but the occasional migraine (which he claims he gets about once a year), for which he has prescription medication.

Just like Petersen, Grissom is a baseball fan "Primum Non Nocere" (Season 2 ep 16)

CSI Characters

Viggorrah — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 15:24:18 CDT

Main Characters

Guest Characters

CSI Cast

Viggorrah — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 15:14:50 CDT

Main Cast

Recurring Cast

Guest Cast

01. William Petersen

Viggorrah — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 18:41:02 CDT

William Petersen Pictures | William Petersen Videos

Credited to http://www.billypetersen.com

PERSONAL INFO

Full name: William Louis Petersen

People call him: Billy or Bill

Birthdate: Feb. 21, 1953

Birthplace: Evanston, Illinois

Eye color: Blue

Height: 5'11"

Marital Status: Married to Gina Cirone, June 14, 2003

Children: Maite, born in 1975

Current residence: Los Angeles, California

Favorite residence: Chicago, Illinois "Chicago is such a blue-collar, middle-American city, it's just real people, you know? Nobody has an agenda that fits into yours. I get recognized and stuff but they don't give a shit about that. They just want to know whether or not you're going to buy them a beer." - William Petersen

What is he like? According to some who know him, he can be enigmatic and enjoys his solitude, but he is also well-liked with a generous, charming and magnanimous personality. Owning an adventurous spirit and sharp intellect, he is prone to restlessness and by his own admission, easily bored. He is an excellent horseman, experienced fisherman and avid sports fan, who is especially passionate about Chicago sports.

What some people he's worked with have to say: "It's a dream and a joy to work with William Petersen. He is funny, he is very smart, and he is wild!" " William Petersen is maybe one of my all time heroes."Jorja Fox"Billy is very enigmatic. One day you think you know him, then the next day you realize you don't." Marg Helgenberger "I add things (to scenes), so does everybody. We get it from Billy. Billy is the king of adding things to scenes. He's a great guy."George Eads. Curt Columbus (Artist Director of Theatre on the Lake) recalls a time when he saw William Petersen, who already had gotten his big break in movies, hanging lights at the old Organic space in the 1980s. Columbus was impressed with Petersen's lack of ego and commitment to the work at hand. "I thought, if Bill Petersen can hang lights, who am I to think I'm above doing that?," he points out. "I tell my students, don't say no to anything that's reasonable. Even terrible projects are a learning experience." "He's friendly, serious, and very balanced. He cares - alot."Karen Silas, co-star in The Beast

BACKGROUND

William Petersen is the youngest of 6 children born to 4th generation Danish immigrant furniture retailers. His parents owned a furniture store in Evanston. It was never really expected he would continue in the family business, as he says his father never really held out much hope he could ever hold down a job. He was so much younger than his siblings, he grew up nearly as an only child. He was an excellent athlete who played football, baseball and basketball in high school. He was an admittedly poor student with little interest in school. Possessing a gypsy soul, he moved to Boise Idaho when he was 15 to live with his brother. There he attented Bishop Kelly High School, a Catholic school, where he graduated in 1972. That is also where he met his first wife, Joanne. His energy not yet focused, he was a fairly wild young man who was into rock concerts, drinking and the usual pot smoking. "General brattiness" as he called it. After graduating from high school, he attended Idaho State University in nearby Pocatello in hopes of winning a football scholarship. His grades were too low to allow him to play, so they put him in the theater department in some stagecraft classes to try and raise his grade point average. It was a date with destiny, as he fell in love with the theater. (lucky us!) He and Joanne followed a favorite professor to Spain, where they started a Shakespeare company in the Basque region. They married, and their daughter Maite (pronounced mah-tay) was born later that year. (His unsettled lifestyle was hard on Joanne, and they divorced four years later. They remain friends to this day) The tiny family moved back to Idaho, where Billy went from job to job, including some logging work. He acted in plays at night at local colleges. Broke, the family packed up and moved back to Evanston, where they lived with his parents for a while. Burning with desire to be an actor, he pursued roles in the blossoming Chicago theater scene. He gained his Actor's Equity card in 1979 at the Victory Gardens Theater in the title roll of Dillinger. He realized the best way to get cast in a play was to start his own theater company. (He hates auditioning) Billy and some friends, including long time associate and friend Cindy Chvatal and fellow actor Gary Cole, founded the Remains Theater Company, where he not only acted, but was Artistic Director for many years. After financial difficulties and the death of Co-Artistic director Larry Sloan, the company was disbanded in 1995. The small company produced experimental pieces that soon began to attract attention in Chicago theater circles. The Remains Theater was well on it's way to legendary status and Billy on his way to the very top of the theater world in Chicago. His Joseph Jefferson award for best actor for his portrayal of Jack Henry Abbott in Belly of the Beast: Letters From Prison, sealed his status. The Chicago theater scene at that time was bold, fresh, exciting and bursting with extraordinarily talented writers, actors and directors. Billy not only acted with Remains, but also the Wisdom Bridge, Goodman, Organic and the famed Steppenwolf. His talent also began to attract Hollywood. He was appearing in a Streetcar Named Desire at the Stratford Festival in Ontario Canada, where William Friedkin saw him and asked him to read for a new movie he was making called To Live and Die in LA. Billy read two lines and that was enough for Friedkin, who cast him immediately. Posessing great talent, a charismatic personality, and boyish good looks, movie stardom was predicted for him, but never happened. This is partially due to the fact that To Live and Die in LA and Manhunter did poorly at the box office (they are both cult hits now), and partially due to the fact that theater is his first love and he has always preferred to do projects that speak to him artistically instead of commercially. He wanted to be an actor, not a star. Hollywood has alway come to him, not the other way around. He and Cindy formed their own film company, called High Horse Films in 1990. Their first project was a movie titled Hard Promises, also starring Sissy Spacek. He has appeared in many theatrical and made for television movies, as well as dozens of plays through out his ecletic career, making him recognizable to some, but it wasn't until he was cast as Gil Grissom in the smash television hit CSI that he became recognizable to millions. Staying true to his personality, he is not only the star of the show, but a producer as well. Divorced once to Joanne Brady.


---William Petersen	2000to2008	---William petersen



top 3 photos.....william petersen in rehearsal
william petersen openig night nov. 6th. 2008 >>>

Wallpaper

Viggorrah — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 21:55:28 CDT

If you want to use these wallpapers for your own personal use, feel free to email, message, or leave a comment on the designer's profile page. If you are going to put any these wallpapers on another site, please credit this site as well as the person who made the actual wallpaper.

Made by Jen Li (jen88)

2. Made by Viggorrah

3. Made by Squiggybb

Annual Emmy

moontag — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 01:45:31 CST

2001 Emmys

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2002 Emmys
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2003 Emmys

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2004 Emmys

	2002 Emmys

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2006 Emmys

2008 Emmys

2008 Emmys

Movies

edgmphz — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 23:00:21 CST

William Petersen
To Live and Die in L A ( 1985 )

Manhunter ( 1986 )

Longe Gone ( 1987 )

Young Guns 2 ( 1990 )

Hard Promises( 1991 )

William Petersen



	Fear ( 1996 )

The staircase ( 1998 )

The staircase ( 1998 )

Kiss the Sky ( 1999 )

07. Eric Szmanda

moontag — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 21:04:34 CST

Credited to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eric_Szmanda

Eric Szmanda (born July 24, 1975 in Milwaukee, Wisconsin) is an American actor, best known for playing forensic geek Greg Sanders on the popular crime drama television series CSI.

Szmanda grew up in the small town of Mukwonago, Wisconsin, with his two brothers, Rob and Brett, where he graduated from high school in 1993. Eric's great-uncle, Ray Szmanda, is a local radio personality in Wisconsin and a regional television ad figure known unofficially as "The Menards Guy".

He also attended Carroll College in Wisconsin. Once in college he received the role of "Lysander" in a production of A Midsummer Night's Dream. After college, Szmanda moved to Los Angeles and was cast for a guest role on the drama The Division and starred in the television series The Net on USA Network.

Eric is a good friend of Marilyn Manson, and was one of only 60 guests when Manson married Dita Von Teese in Ireland.

He frequently talks about his interest in Icelandic post-rock band Sigur Rós.

Filmography

* CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, Greg Sanders Lab Tech and CSI
* Snow Wonder, Luke
* Little Athens, Derek
* 100 Girls, Computer Geek
* Rules of Attraction, Film Student
* True Vinyl, Billy Thompson/DJ Billy T
* The Net ,Eric Szmanda as Jacob "Sorcerer"

Trivia

* Nickname: Ercy
* Is a fan and friend of Marilyn Manson. In 2003, he appeared in the video to Manson's song "(s)AINT" along with Asia Argento, who also directed it. The video has never aired in the United States.
* His surname is pronounced like 'Amanda' with a 'Z' at the beginning.
* Played drums until about freshman year in high school.
* In his first movie the producer he was working with requested that he changed his name.
* Has a golden retriever named Dax.
* Is of Polish descent.

04. George Eads

moontag — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 20:58:03 CST

Credited to: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Eads

George Coleman Eads III (born March 1, 1967) is an American actor, best known for his role as Nick Stokes on the CBS crime drama CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.

George was born in Fort Worth, Texas and grew up in Belton, Texas, 130 miles south of Fort Worth. His father is Arthur Coleman "Cappy" Eads, and his mother is Vivian Baker. George's stepfather, Dudley Baker, is a gynecologist. George graduated from Belton High School in 1985 and from Texas Tech University in 1990, where he was a member of the Phi Delta Theta fraternity. To pursue his acting career, he headed to Los Angeles, California, in a pickup truck borrowed from his stepfather. George has a sister, Angela Eads Tekell, who is an attorney in Waco, Texas.

Aside from CSI, Eads has also guest-starred on ER, and has worked on several made-for television films, including playing Evel Knievel in the 2004 film Evel Knievel. George also performed in the made-for-television movie Crowned and Dangerous with Yasmine Bleeth in 1997.

Eads was the subject of unfavorable publicity alongside fellow CSI co-star Jorja Fox in 2004, when they were fired, allegedly over contract disputes. Eads was reported to be hours late for work on the first day of filming for the fifth season, claiming to have merely overslept, and Fox had allegedly failed to submit a letter to CBS confirming that she would be on time for shooting. The disputes were resolved in just over a week, and the two were rehired by CBS; however, neither actor's salary (reportedly US$100,000 per episode) was raised like the rest of their co-workers. It was also reported that of the two, Fox was approached first to resume her contract with CSI - but she refused until Eads was rehired as well.

Filmography

Starring roles

* Evel Knievel (2004, TV) as Evel Knievel
* Monte Walsh (2003, TV) as Frank "Shorty" Austin
* Second String (2002, TV) as Tommy Baker
* Just a Walk in the Park (2002, TV) as Adam Willingford
* CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (2000, TV series) as Nick Stokes
* Grapevine (2000, TV series) as Thumper Klein
* The Spring (2000, TV) as Gus
* Crowned and Dangerous (1997, TV) as Riley Baxter
* The Ultimate Lie (1996, TV) as Ben McGrath
* Savannah (1996, TV series) as Travis Peterson (pilot episode); as Nick Corelli (in the series)
* Dust to Dust (1994) as Black Wolf

Guest-starring roles

* Justice League Unlimited (2004) as Captain Atom (voice) in episode 3.1 "Initiation"
* ER (1998) as paramedic Greg Powell in episodes 4.10, 4.12 and 4.13.
* Strange Luck (1995) as J.R. Dean in episode 1.7 "Hat Trick"

Trivia

* Texas Tech University graduate of 1990
* Used to work as a copy machine salesman.
* When he arrived in Los Angeles, he could only drive during the day because the truck he borrowed from his step dad had two broken headlights (after landing his role on Savannah, Eads bought a new truck).
* Is part owner of the Hollywood eatery "CineSpace". It's a "Dinner and a Movie" place
* He has two Harley Davidsons, a Porsche 911 and a silver Cadillac Escalade
* Has a yellow labrador retriever named Maverick.
* Owns High Rise Apartments on Cloverfield Blvd in Santa Monica.

CSI Videos/Slideshows

Viggorrah — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 20:43:11 CST

Use this page to upload slideshows or videos that are about CSI

This my own little tribute I made and uploaded to MySpace. Let me know what you think about it! "One Winged Angel" by Uematsu Nobuo "Land of Confusion" by Disturbed		A REAL video Vigg made about Gil Grissom. :D "Part of Me" by Linkin Park
CSI: Season 7 Intro!		Another video that revolves around Grissom! "Alone I Break" by KoRn WARNING: SONG CONTAINS CUSSING (It's by KoRn..Whaddya expect? XD)
My first GSR video! Hope you like it! :] "Breath" by Breaking Benjamin		My second GSR video! "Cold" by Crossfade
More GSR! "Everything Changes" by Staind		GSR vs. the MCSK "Until the End" by Breaking Benjamin
A Look Back at Grissom and Sara's Relationship!! CBS YouTube		Gil Grissom - The Becoming "The Becoming" by Nine Inch Nails

Grissom and Sara

Viggorrah — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 20:41:31 CST

The Romance Known as GSR (or Geeklove)

This page is used to add links to your favorite GSR story links. Since I don't have alot of site users right now, mine's down there for you guys to check out. And now, jen88's is down there, too! (So far, hers is great, by the way!) Feel free to add any more that you find! :D

GSR FanFic Archive

Fast National Data by MathGal

Grissom and Sara analyze the Fast National Data Ratings of the CSI Season Seven Premier “Built to Kill, Part I,” airdate September 21, 2006.

A satire above all, this story is my first, quite silly, and I guarantee it's like NOTHING else you've ever read on fanfiction.net (some would say, "Thank goodness!")

Please, please, PLEASE HANG IN THERE while reading it; even if you don't get all the references to the other TV shows or figure out all the anagrams (that's the fun of the "Easter Egg Hunt" which accompanies this story on my fanfiction.net Author Profile--try it!)

Reviews are welcome! Thank you! - MG :)

Welcome Home by Viggorrah (Finally finshed! =P)

[Complete] An attack at a crime scene lands Grissom in the hospital, seriously wounded and fighting to stay alive…

Blurry by Viggorrah

She couldn't believe it had gone by so quickly. He had already been gone an entire year. WARNING: Main Character Death, PostSeries

See You on the Other Side by Viggorrah

Two CSIs switch sides, and become victims of a deranged kidnapper. GSR

Unanswered Whys by CSI~4~Coolbeans

Can you fall in love with an Angel?

Never Again by CSI~4~Coolbeans

SongFic. Sara's Point of View. Why does Sara hate hospitals? Is it something to do with her childhood?

Two Sides of a Butterfly by CSI~4~Coolbeans

Not a lot of people know that Gil Grissom has two sides. Not a lot of people know Gil period, but the few that do still only know his work side. Sara's POV

Bye Bye Bye by jen88 (not done yet =p)

Grissom and Sara follow a Missing Persons case to find out who the real murderer is, but they go missing too. Catherine is attacked by the suspect and goes to the hospital. Nick and Warrick are the suspects in their own case. Everyone in danger, now help is only in Greg's hands...

Good or Bad by TDCSI

Takes place after Grissom introduced LH to her granddaughter, and runs through the finale into what I belive should be a much better ending to what CBS left us at. Spoilers from 7X23 & 7X24

Teens & Tribulations by TDCSI

Grissom & Sara try to move ahead with their newfound relationship, but a teen and his little sister find their way into the hearts of our beloved CSI’s.

Down To Sleep by VR Trakowski

Another serial killer strikes Las Vegas... But this one has a twist.

Now and Always by GSR-4EVER

This a respons to a challenge from another wiki. Romance and GSR, the best combination. M

Last Night by GSR-4EVER

This is my first fanfic, Grissom and sara in the locker room. what happened? M

CSI Kicks Ass Home

Viggorrah — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 20:39:55 CST

"Concentrate on what cannot lie: the evidence." - Gil Grissom


Episode 909: "19 Down..." Promo - The New CSI			909: "19 Down..." Promo - Gris Says He's Leaving

This website is dedicated to the original CSI show set in Las Vegas, Nevada, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. Launched in 2000 and created by Anthony E. Zuiker, CSI is crime/drama television series that follows the Graveyard Shift CSIs of the Las Vegas Crime Lab. Headed by the enigmatic Gil Grissom, portrayed by William Petersen, these CSIs tackle case after case, each with its own distinct and unique feel.

By 2002, CSI had 30 to 40 million viewers a week, a success that encouraged CBS to create a franchise, starting with CSI: Miami and continuing to CSI: New York in 2004. Now, as CSI: Crime Scene Investigation is in its ninth season, it has become one of the world's most watched shows and has one of the largest and most devoted fanbases of any show ever created.

This website is in no way affiliated with CSI and is merely a fan site. All characters and episodes belong to Jerry Bruckheimer, Alliance, and CBS. If you have any questions, comments, concerns, or whatever, feel free to email me at csiviggorrah@csikicksass.com.

CSI Episode Guide

Viggorrah — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 20:33:35 CST

As every CSI fanatic knows, there are 9 Seasons as of right now. Seasons 1-8 are out on DVD and Season 9 is currently being aired. This episode guide will eventually give you all the information you need to know about every single episode in every single season. As of right now, I'm starting to make the individual episode pages. Feel free to add any knowledge or pictures you possess to any of the episodes! Again, It would be a big help! You can get to each individual Season's page on the scrollbar on right or you can just follow the links below, and remember have fun!

Season 1

Season 2 Season 3

Season 4 Season 5

Season 6

Season 7

Season 8 Season 9

If you just want to download the entire episode guide for your own personal use, click the picture to download it. This is from the CSI:Fan Site. Http://csifans.wetpaint.com

Just click the link and the download prompt will appear.

Season 9

Viggorrah — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 20:33:00 CST

Episode Number	Episode Name
901	"For Warrick"
902	"The Happy Place"
903	"Art Imitates Life"
904	"Let It Bleed"
905	"Leave Out All The Rest"
906	"Say Uncle"
907	"Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda"
908	"Young Man With a Horn"
909	"19 Down..."

Season 8

Viggorrah — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 20:28:41 CST

Episode Number	Episode Name
801	"Dead Doll"
802	"A La Cart"
803	"Go To Hell"
804	"Case of the Cross-Dressing Carp"
805	"The Chick Chop Flick Shop"
806	"Who and What"
***	"Where and Why" (Without A Trace crossover)
807	"Goodbye and Good Luck"
808	"You Kill Me"
809	"Cockroaches"
810	"Lying Down With Dogs"
811	"Bull"
812	"Grissom's Divine Comedy"
813	"A Thousand Days on Earth"
814	"Drops Out"
815	"The Theory of Everything"
816	"Two And a Half Deaths"
817	"For Gedda"

<< Season 7	Season 9 >>

<< Season 7

Season 9 >>

Episode 101: "Cool Change"

moontag — Sat, 06 Dec 2008 17:45:19 CST

Synopsis:

A man is found after he apparently commits suicide after winning a fortune. It is later discovered that he had dumped his girlfriend right after winning. Holly Gribbs, whom Warrick was supposed to be shadowing, is in the hospital after being shot at a crime scene. Grissom takes the liberty of recruiting one of his best students from one of his seminars to come to Vegas to help out. So, Grissom, Nick, and newcomer to the CSI team, Sara Sidle, investigate the first case. Holly later dies in surgery and Warrick is up for suspension for leaving her at the crime scene by herself. Catherine literally takes Holly's case from Grissom.The sheriff insists that Grissom suspend Warrick, but he doesn't.

Captain James Brass

moontag — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 17:57:50 CST

Homicide Captain,

Former Graveyard Shift Supervisor

credited to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Brass

James "Jim" Brass (born January 3, 1953) is a fictional character from the CBS Television series CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, and portrayed by Paul Guilfoyle.

Fictional Character Biography

Brass spent 20 years working his way up to detective in New Jersey. While working in Vice, he worked hard to clean up his department, earning the enmity of many of his former colleagues (and the nickname 'Squeaky,' as in 'squeaky clean'). Brass, under stress, sometimes drank and would cover it up by popping cough drops to hide the smell of alcohol on his breath (episode 415, "Early Rollout"). While his wife was having an affair with Vice cop Mike O'Toole, Brass was busy with his own affair with another member of the vice squad, Annie Kramer, who later moved to Los Angeles and was promoted to captain. Brass claims later that it was Nancy's (his then-wife) affair that ruined their marriage, rather than the other way around, and that she eventually just wanted a way out (episode 520, "Hollywood Brass"). Brass transferred out of New Jersey in the 1990s and came to Las Vegas. He eventually ran the CSI department, more as an administrator than as an investigator. Showing as an example of how much he trusts the team Brass has stated that he would want Gil Grissom's CSI team to investigate his murder; he gave Grissom power of attorney rights should anything happen to him, which proved useful when Grissom chose go ahead with his risky but life-saving surgery when he was shot. Brass served in the United States Marine Corps.

Brass used to have Grissom's job as the supervisor of the CSI team. After young CSI Holly Gribbs was murdered on her first day in the field, he lost his position to Grissom. Brass was then given the position as a homicide detective, usually serving as the legal muscle for the CSI team and the one who does most of the arresting and interrogating of suspects. He is usually the one to draw his gun and does not like it when his CSIs try to take dangerous matters like arresting suspects into their own hands. He also gets on Grissom's case for not drawing his firearm, even in appropriate situations.

In the two-part episode "A Bullet Runs Through It", Brass tries to counsel Detective Sofia Curtis, who believes she may have accidentally killed another officer in a chaotic shoot-out with a gang of drug dealers. He later is stunned and guilt-ridden to realize that he was actually the one that killed the officer. Later at the officer's funeral, his widow approached, and when Brass tried to explain how sorry he was, she told him that she had forgiven him already.
Brass has an estranged daughter, Ellie Rebecca Brass, who is not biologically his (unbeknownst to her). As he explains it to Warrick Brown in the episode "Ellie": "Call it the mailman's. Ellie doesn't know." In fact, Ellie's biological father is former New Jersey Vice cop Mike O'Toole, who Brass discovered to be dirty. Ellie works as a prostitute in Los Angeles, to the deep disappointment of her father. Despite her rebellious behavior, Brass still loves her deeply, and keeps a picture of her as a child on his desk in his office. When he discovers that she is doing drugs, he keeps after her until she cleans up, but their relationship remains difficult and strained. Brass is shot by William Cutler—a wanted suspect in a triple homicide. When he is in the hospital in critical condition, in the season six finale "Way to Go," Ellie seems more concerned with the pension than her father's likelihood of survival-- which is probably why Brass gave his power of attorney to colleague and friend Gil Grissom, who saved Brass's life by having him undergo surgery to remove the bullet. At the end of that episode, Brass is surrounded by his other family: the CSI night shift team, who watched over him through his ordeal. At the end of the seventh season premiere, "Built To Kill, Part 1," Brass is seen in a tattoo parlor, having the date of his shooting (May 11, 2006) tattooed just below the bullet scar.

William Petersen Pictures

moontag — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 15:02:38 CST

Include all pictures of him from TV to movie, and it will list by following numbers:

Awards and Appearances
TV
- CSI
Movies
- Contender, The
- Fear
- Manhunter
- Skulls, The
- To Live and Die in L.A
- Young Guns II
  kiss the sky

03. Gary Dourdan

moontag — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 02:25:09 CST

Credited to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gary_Dourdan

Gary Dourdan (born Gary Durdin, December 11, 1966 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania) is a African-American actor, widely known for portraying Warrick Brown on CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.

Biography

Dourdan and his family moved to Willingboro, New Jersey when he was in his youth. At this time his interests included acting, music and martial arts. Later Dourdan moved to New York City and worked as a doorman at a rehearsal studio where he met some of Manhattan's promising young artists.

Green-eyed Dourdan got his first break when Debbie Allen cast him as Shazza Zulu on A Different World based on a tape of him in an avant-garde play. He had a reacurring role on the Showtime series Soul Food until he nabbed the part of Warrick Brown on CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. He was also the host of a BET Spoken Word show entitled the Lyric Cafe.

Dourdan was briefly married to Roshumba Williams, and he has a daughter, Nyla and a son, Lyric from other relationships. He recently joined DMC on stage at Live 8 at Park Place in Barrie, Ontario, and also co-sang the lyrics to the theme song of The Jeffersons at the 2005 Emmy Awards.

He also starred in the movie Alien: Resurrection.

He is currently set to play Thin Lizzy frontman Phil Lynott, on a biographical film on the latter's life[1]

He had a small role, in the movie Thursday, starring Thomas Jane.

He also appeared in Janet Jackson's video for her 1993 hit Again as her love interest.

References

1. ^ .Rolling Stone: Lizzy's Lynott Lives On

* Hiltbrand, David. "It's in the eyes". The Philadelphia Enquirer reprinted in the Austin American-Statesman "Showorld" section. November 13, 2005. pp 1,2.

Should be noted that he also co-starred in the film "Trois" with 1993's Miss USA Kenya Moore.


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